Craved by the Wrong Volkov-Chapter 196: Mixed signals

Braelyn’s POV

He was infuriating. Why was he acting like he cares all of a sudden? He should just bloody ignore me like he did in the past. Now he suddenly cares when it felt like shit was falling apart.

Lucien and I had a meeting with some contractors. Alcohol was available. It wasn’t my thing to get drunk, but I couldn’t take my mind off the diary when I was with him. My head kept thinking about it over and over again like a broken disk.

If that wasn’t the only unnerving thing, it was the slight change in Raphael. I noticed his gaze during the meeting, although Lucien didn’t even give me the chance to pay attention to it as he was shamelessly flirting with me.

I played along for the sake of the game, but his heated gaze, filled with complex emotions, stayed fixed on me. Especially how he fled the boardroom after the meeting.

I hated the fact that he was even on my mind.

The faucet was switched on and the water started pouring, drenching us both. Raphael had me pinned against the wall. His gaze was sharp as anger bloomed on his face. I didn’t want to think about it, but at that moment, I saw the boy who rescued me on that winter night, not the man who wrecked me.

"Can you just sober up?" he snapped at me.

He was doing his best to put his anger in place, and I just wanted to piss him off.

I calmed down for a moment. The water poured all over us, as the only sound left in the shower was my rapid breaths and the trickling drops. I didn’t say anything and just glared.

He clicked his tongue, raking his fingers through his hair. I glared harder. Even in my drunkenness, I finally realised something I didn’t want to accept. Despite how much this bastard had hurt and ruined me, a small part of my heart I didn’t want to acknowledge didn’t hate him.

I hated him without a doubt, but not as much as I wanted. I hated that fact. Those lingering feelings were still holding me back.

Getting no reply from me, he turned around to leave. My hands clenched. The words came out before I knew it, as if I was reminding myself.

"I fucking hate you, Raphael. I just wish you would just drop dead," I screamed at the top of my lungs. Even the rushing water couldn’t cover it.

He froze, his shoulders hunched forward before his head snapped back. Something sharp flickered in his eyes. Anger, I guessed. A cruel smile curled his lips.

"You hate me," he repeated.

My eyes shot daggers at him. Raphael turned towards me, his temper flaring up, and before I knew it, he was already standing in front of me. The water trickled over him. His evil smile remained.

Then he said something that shook me to the core.

"Then you should just loathe me then," he snickered, and before I could process his words, his cold lips stole mine. My entire body froze.

I had barely registered the shock of the cold water when he kissed me. His warm body was like a furnace pressed against me. The moment I felt his lips, which still carried that familiarity I hated, I regretted it all. Drinking at that meeting, returning here tonight, and even instigating him. I regretted every bit of it.

The water drops hit my skin like sharp knives cutting through it. It soaked through my clothes, plastered the fabric to my body, and clung tightly.

My teeth chattered, my breath coming out uneven as the alcohol burned away, leaving me exposed. My head throbbed as clarity started to fill my mind.

I was far too aware of everything I had been trying not to feel. Every sensation felt heightened, like my skin was on edge. I gasped against his mouth, trying to fight it.

Raphael kissed me like he was trying to punish me, like he was forcing me to remember everything we had buried.

His lips were hot against mine, carrying a demanding fever, tasting of whiskey and mistakes. I struggled, shoved hard against him to break the kiss. He stood like a stumbling block I couldn’t move. He grabbed my hands and pinned them, immobilising me.

"Stop kissing me," I could barely say before he swallowed my words with his mouth. 𝚏𝐫𝚎𝗲𝕨𝐞𝐛𝕟𝚘𝐯𝚎𝗹.𝕔𝐨𝗺

His hand fisted in my wet hair, tilting my head back so he could take more, deeper, like he still owned me. All my struggles were for naught. Tears blurred my eyes, mixed with the water, and soon my mouth started to taste salty.

I hated how my body knew him. Hated the way it reacted despite everything. The shivers that ran through me when his thigh pushed between mine, the way my back arched just a fraction before I caught myself.

His grip on my wrists, which he had pinned above my head, was iron. His chest crushed against me as water streamed between us.

I wasn’t going to let him have his way easily. I twisted and fought, trying to wiggle out of his cage. I clawed at his hold, forcing the word out of my mouth.

"Stop," I snarled into his mouth, but it came out breathless and broken, sounding like a moan, and my stomach twisted.

He didn’t stop.

He just growled and kissed me harder, his tongue sweeping through the gaps and claiming every inch of my mouth like he had the right.

His free hand slid down my side, his fingers digging into my hip, pulling me flush against him.

I bit his lip hard until I tasted blood. He hissed but pressed closer, his thigh pinning me, not letting me move an inch. My body betrayed me again, still drawn to that familiarity I should not want. The heat continued pooling low despite the ice water, my skin prickling where his wet shirt clung to mine.

I struggled harder, my knees coming up, my wrists jerking in his grip. He overpowered me without effort, easily shifting his weight and holding me trapped against the tile. His mouth didn’t leave mine. He continued angrily devouring me until I was flushed. I couldn’t breathe. My vision darkened. When I thought the darkness would swallow me, he finally showed mercy.

He let go of my hands first before backing away. My body crumbled, but before my knees buckled, my hand rang across his cheek with every ounce of strength I had left.

"You fucking disgust me," I cried as my body slouched on the floor. Tears spilled out as humiliation consumed me.

"Don’t you ever touch me again, Raphael." My lips trembled. His gaze darkened, the red mark on his cheek prominent.

His jaw clenched, his fist trembling. I didn’t know what emotions crossed his face as he looked at me, a complete wreck.

"Hate me all you want, Braelyn," he hissed before adding,

"It doesn’t change the fact that you are my wife."

He spat before leaving. This time, he left for good. I curled into a ball, burying my face in my knees, and cried under the shower. Even the water could not wash away the humiliation and pure disgust I felt for him and, worse, for myself.

I was more disgusted at myself.