Craved by the Wrong Volkov-Chapter 182: Avelina’s diary part 3

AVELINA

September 16th 2000

Nadia won’t leave me alone. Ever since the day I saw her stand in the corridor, blood trickling down her head, staring at me, she has been appearing around me.

At first, she stood at a great distance, staring at me with a hollow smile that never reached her eyes. But each passing day, she came closer and closer; and her smile turned more sinister. She is still pointing, pointing at my baby.

They think I am losing my mind but I am not. She is there, I can see her, but they can’t. Why am I the only one who can see her? Katerina also killed her. Why didn’t she torment Katerina?

It’s been 10 months now, my feet are so swollen I can barely leave the bed, and my health has completely collapsed because of the pregnancy. The doctor says it is because of the baby but I know the truth it is because of Nadia

I am not crazy, Nadia said it herself, as long as I have this baby she will torment me. This isn’t a baby but her demon

I am not crazy, but it feels like I am. They say if you ignore a ghost it will go away. That’s what I did but it didn’t work

Dominic has been spacey lately, I know he is scared. He knows something is wrong but tries to ignore it. I told Katerina of my troubles and she said it was probably just my pregnancy hormones messing with me.

After I give birth, it will be okay, but I doubt I will survive this childbirth.

Dear diary, I promise I am not losing my mind. I know what is wrong, and I know how to fix it. Nadia told me herself.

Yes, she spoke to me, although it was in a dream, but I can’t tell Dominic or Katerina the solution. Nadia said that if I tell them, it will fail.

I need to stop this nightmare.

********

September 20th 2000

Dominic couldn’t stand it anymore. He thinks it will be great if I go out for some fresh air, but we both know I cannot. I can barely move.

If I knew this was how the pregnancy would be, I wouldn’t have ever gotten pregnant.

A doctor came to visit me this week. Dominic says talking to him will help me. He thinks I am crazy. Doesn’t he? If not, why will he send a psychiatrist to speak to me?

I still told the doctor everything. The Doctor hid it but I saw the looks in his eyes. At this point, I am not scared anymore if they say I am crazy.

Maybe I am, and all this is just my mind playing tricks on me. Dominic spoke to the doctor after the session and after that, he hadn’t mentioned the doctor’s visit again neither have the doctor come by again

What he doesn’t know is that I eavesdropped on their conversation. I didn’t hear the complete conversation but I heard one thing that shook me to the call

The doctor said it would be better if I were locked up and restrained for my good. They can’t give me treatment yet because of the baby.

The doctor said I was dangerous and unpredictable. I am not dangerous, the only dangerous thing I did was causing Nadia’s death. Does he think I will kill someone again?

No one believes me, but you believe me, don’t you? You are the only one who listens to me.

It’s funny...who am I writing to? Now I even believe a diary is a person.

*******

September 24th 2000

I can’t look at my pictures. I don’t recognise the woman in it anymore. She is beautiful and happy, nothing like the haggard soul like me. I can’t stand looking at those pictures.

Nadia said I don’t deserve to look happy, and she is right. I don’t deserve happiness

All I had to do was wait until Dominic was asleep, so he would not find out until I was done.

I did just that tonight. He came back home very exhausted and easily fell asleep. I managed to sneak out of bed when he was completely knocked out. My entire body was heavy, I might get into labour any moment from now but before then I have to get rid of those pictures

In the dead of night, I gathered all the pictures I could find. I gathered it together in the kitchen far from the bedroom. Far enough that Dominic can’t perceive the burnt smell.

I should have gone outside, but all the doors are shut. They have been shut ever since the doctor’s visit. I set them all on fire

I let it all burn and it felt so good...

This is the best thing ever. If I knew it would feel this good, I would have burnt it all long ago. Nadia is standing in the fire smiling at me. She was pleased, now she can leave me.

My stomach hurts...

I can barely write...Nadia says if I sit in the fire she will leave me for good

I don’t think I should trust her...my contractions just started. I need to get to the hospital but what if I end it all and send the demon to hell

*******

September 25th 2000

I am mad at Dominic. He stopped me before I could step into the fire. He was crying as he took me outside asking me what he did wrong

He didn’t do anything wrong. I am the one who killed Nadia and she wants her revenge on me. He is sitting beside me now, watching me quietly. I told him he should give up on me but he refused.

He still loves me, but I am still mad at him. He should have let me go with the fire

.

The fire went wild, making an open fire in the kitchen was a bad idea, but it was what Nadia wanted. I heard it destroyed a large part of the mansion. Dominic pulled me out of the mansion before it went off in flames completely. I clutched my diary the entire time.... 𝚏𝐫𝚎𝗲𝕨𝐞𝐛𝕟𝚘𝐯𝚎𝗹.𝕔𝐨𝗺

We were both unharmed physically at least

I am on the last page now. Maybe I should get a new diary later

Goodbye, friend....the baby is about to come. It is even a miracle I can still write. I guess it helps distract me from the pain of contractions.