Bought For A Baby, Kept For A Lifetime-Chapter 280: Never Meant To Have Love

Jasmine didn’t need to hear him say anything else, she did need to hear the answer from him because the shock in his eyes had said it all.

Something painful suddenly struck her heart in this very moment.

She had thought that he had been arranged and perhaps forced to marry her, turns out he had actually paid for her too. Bought her right out of his uncle’s hands like a pretty little jewelry piece they both wanted and he had only gotten her because he paid more.

She laughed to herself with tears filling her eyes, there was so much bitterness to that laughter.

"Why does everyone treat me like an item that can be bought and sold?" Her voice shook so much as she spoke.

"Jasmine." He said her name so softly, so warmly.

It was this warmth she was getting used to, it was this warmth she was beginning to get addicted to every single day.

She couldn’t understand, his uncle might have aimed to possess her to satisfy his disgusting lust of her, but Shawn...she hadn’t even known him before their marriage.

"Why did you do that? You could have let me marry your uncle, I was sold to him either way, you didn’t have to pay him to marry me."

She didn’t believe the ridiculous story he gave to his uncle about being in love with her. How could he possibly love her when he didn’t even know her? But his answer was the very thing she didn’t think could be true.

"Because I love you, Jasmine." He admitted to her so truthfully looking into her eyes, he didn’t once hesitate or try to keep it from her.

"I loved you since the moment you first talked to me on that rooftop at the blue moon."

Him suddenly admitting this startled her momentarily, she froze.

Blue moon?

For a second, Jasmine furrowed her brows in confusion until realization dawned on her.

The blue moon was an event that happened once every few years, specifically on nights when there would be a lunar eclipse, when the lights from the eclipse scatter, it gave the moon an ethereal looking blue shade. The blue moon party is hosted on the largest rooftop tower, a space where all the guest could get a full view of the moon.

Jasmine remembered that on that night, she had taken a few glasses of wine, the whole place was filled with shallow people from aristocratic families, who flaunted their wealth and positions to oppress others lower to them, in order to get away from all that Jasmine had taken her glass of wine and found a secluded corner. Because the theme of the party was centered around the moon, there were no artificial lights, the only illumination was from the moon.

Jasmine could remember that figure standing in the shadows. The man whose face she hadn’t seen that night. She was standing by the railings of the rooftop, and all she could see of the man was his elegant looking silhouette as the moon hung behind him, turning him into a shadow outlined by the silvery blue color of the moon.

Jasmine still couldn’t remember the full conversation they had that night, all she remembered was a quiet kiss at the back of her hand.

"Will I see you here again here at the next blue moon?" He had asked.

"That’s years from now." She remembered was her reply.

"Then I’ll have something to look forward to." He said before disappearing into the party.

So she had met Shawn before but she didn’t know it was him. The realization made her heart stop for a moment, until she heard him speak again and all her attention returned to him.

"I didn’t want to hurt you, believe me I would never want to make you feel like an object." There was this rawness as he spoke. She knew every word he said was the truth and it made the impact hit harder in her heart.

"I just...I couldn’t see you being treated that way, I couldn’t stand aside and let my uncle subject you to a painful life. I never got the chance to approach you till I found out you were going to be made my uncle’s bride. I didn’t marry you to force you to be mine, I married you to give you your freedom. I can’t stand the thought of you hating me, that’s why I never told you the truth right from the start."

He moved closer and Jasmine was surprised she didn’t step back, his eyes looked so tormented as he hesitantly wiped off her tears then held her face in both palms.

"I’ve never wanted anyone like I’ve wanted you Jasmine..."

She didn’t know why she leaned into him when he placed a kiss on her forehead. She closed her eyes and more warm tears flowed down.

Her mind wasn’t being aligned to her heart, because this touch...this closeness, she wanted it. She wanted more of it.

’...you will thank me for this someday Jasmine...’

As she recalled these words, her eyes snapped open.

Without another word she pushed him away, breaking whatever moment of warmth had engulfed them both and ran up the stairs hurriedly.

That night marked a big change in their relationship, the small little friendship that had started to bloom between them initially began to fade and vanish into thin air. Two years of them growing closer dissipated like smoke in the air and the next year that came was filled with heartache for both of them.

Jasmine strictly kept her distance, whenever he was nice to her she would shut him down and walk away, whenever he did anything for her she would reject it right to his face.

This marriage was never meant to have love in it, he was never supposed to love her. This marriage was supposed to be her hell, why would he tell her he loved her? Why would he keep making her heart feel this way?

Maybe her deliberately being harsh to him was a way to push him away, a way to make him hate her.

The more she tried to make him grow to hate her, the more she hated herself and the more miserable she became. One night she was sitting all alone on the couch, remembering a time he was there sitting next to her, talking about the most random things. Her heart hurt so badly whenever she thought about those moments she genuinely enjoyed spending time with him.

Not once had he tried to touch her, he had feelings for her but he had never imposed those feelings on her or made her feel like he wanted anything more than being her friend. He supported her, knew the things she wanted even without her saying it. Why was he so good to her? Why couldn’t she stop thinking about him?

That night she had cried so painfully, throughout the heart shattering cries that erupted out of her, he was standing there. She didn’t even know when he walked in on her crying her heart out at that time, all she knew was that when she raised her head she found him kneeling in front of her, his face looked so pained as if he was feeling the very agony in her heart. He wiped her tears and walked away.

A few days later, on her birthday, the present he gave to her was something he thought she wanted the most, something she thought she wanted more than anything.

"...I give you your freedom Jasmine."

Her freedom should have made her happy, her freedom should have made her feel liberated, but her freedom felt... painful, but she had taken it.

And just like that, it had ended.

Just like that, she had walked away from a relationship she had been forcefully tied down in. But why did everyday hurt?

Why did she almost always remember his smile?

Why did she look up on days she was eating alone, only to see him eating with her right across from her?

Why did she think about him even when she didn’t want to?

Why did her heart burn and hurt when she remembered the moment she signed those divorce papers?

Why did her mind somehow conjure up a different ending between them?

The different ending would show her walking up to him and saying something like,

"We might have gotten married under the wrong circumstances, but I’m ready to try to make this work. I like living with you, I like seeing you every single day, I like being around you and hearing you tell me about your day, I like talking about the things I like with you, and I like the way you look at me, smile at me, make me feel seen, make me feel wanted. I’m ready to try with you."

In her re-envisioning of the past, she would see them slowly grow closer, not just as friends but as something else... something more.

She would see the first time he would slide his hand in hers, quietly holding her hand and she would quietly wrap her fingers around his with a smile.

She would see the moment she would take the initiative to lean against his shoulders and hug his arm as they quietly enjoyed a movie together and the blissful look she usually saw in his eyes whenever she spoke to him or did something for him would shine in his eyes again.

She would see him hug her, really really tight.

She would see the moment their lips touched, he would kiss her and she would kiss him back.

Their relationship wouldn’t just be a casual marriage in name, they would no longer be like housemates, she would be his wife, willingly and he would be her husband.

She would happily run to embrace him whenever he came home from work. They would talk about anything and everything, they would go to bed together and he would love her like a husband loved his wife.

These daydreams, she hated having them, but she couldn’t escape them, nor could she see herself or her life unfold with someone else.

Those three years of being his wife had crippled something inside her, it had taken her heart and made it mush, she had been the one to run away from him, she couldn’t accept something that came from her own mother’s betrayal, something she had been forced to do, she didn’t want to give her mother that satisfaction, yet she was hurting, hurting so much more than she had been hurt when her mother had forced her to get married, hurting with a gaping hole in her heart, longing for something and someone she repeatedly had to tell herself was forbidden for her.

Alone in the space of her apartment, where once again, as she returned from all the memories of the past, she could see him sitting right across from her, smiling at her like he always did.

She reached her hand and just before she touched him, he vanished and she came back to her senses, tears sliding down her cheeks.

A sob escaped her lips and she pulled her knees up, burying her head between her knees as soul crushing sobs escaped her throat.

She cried to herself, anyone who heard her sobs would be able to feel her heart wrenching pain.

She never let herself admit it, but she missed him.

She missed him so much.