Bought For A Baby, Kept For A Lifetime-Chapter 256: The Light

In his mind, the world had suddenly shifted.

The moment warm tears slid down his face, his world had already rapidly twisted. Darkness unfurled in his mind, it wasn’t just black, it was a thick and suffocating type of endless darkness that felt like smoke in a locked room. Memories flickered in the haze of that dark smoke, in those memories there was a park bench and a boy holding melting ice cream watching his mother walk away, the sound of her heels echoed really loudly, so loud it was painful to the ears. The ice cream slipped out of his hold and he covered his ears. The sound of the heels was like wax being melted into the ears, it was unbearable.

The sound faded away becoming dark, whispering voices...

You’re alone, you have always been alone...

You were never wanted, no one wanted you...

She left, she left you and it was all your fault...

She left because you were weak, she left because you were imperfect...

Those dark whispers sounded like they were being spoken by the voice of an ancient demon.

Those words were something he used to believe deep inside, but in this moment, another voice began to speak over that dark voice.

’It was never your fault.’

This voice felt important, very important it made his rioting heartbeat began to ease.

’...It was never your fault that she chose to leave.’

’...She chose to leave you Andrew, it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t because you were weak, it wasn’t because you were imperfect, you did not drive her away, you weren’t difficult to love, you were a child, and a child’s soul is beautiful and pure. I know you must have carried the weight with you all your life...’

Those words slowly pushed away the dark one until the negative words from the darkness disappeared and the haunting shadows of the past hovering around slowly began to disappear.

’...you had every right to be loved just like everyone else...’

’...This wound, no matter how much you continue to suppress it, it’ll always be there. I want you to forget what used to hurt and not just push it down by blocking your emotions. Please...let me help you...’

The darkness in his mind reared again but her voice echoed over and over again.

Please...let me help you.

A cold wind hit his body, along with that wind there was a beautiful scent. It smelled like a flower.

Magnolias.

Her scent was around him, and there was something healing about inhaling her scent with every breath he took. But slowly, that scent felt like it had moved, about to drift away.

He suddenly felt like he would fall, like he would sink into this endless darkness if she left.

His hand moved and quickly grabbed her wrist.

"Then help me."

Deep inside, he was burning, deep inside it hurt like a hundred daggers to the heart, he couldn’t take it.

Slowly she began to come closer to him, with every breath he took there was her...

He didn’t expect her to raise her hand and slowly wrap her fingers around his neck pulling his head downwards, his broad shoulders had gone weak. For the first time in years he trusted someone enough to be vulnerable in front of them, and it was because she had not only peeled his heart open but also because she taught his heart to learn how to beat again with the rhythm of love. It was because he loved her.

He allowed himself to lean down against her, allowed himself to hurt in front of her until his forehead rested fully on her shoulder and her arms wrapped around him, tightening as she embraced him completely. His breath shuddered as he was held by her, it suddenly felt like a rush of light had invaded inside him, encasing him. She was the light.

"You can cry, you can let yourself feel the pain. It’s okay." Her voice carried the sweetest and most comforting warmth.

"You don’t have to hurt all alone anymore, you don’t have to run away from your pain anymore, it’s okay to feel. It’s okay..." She held him even tighter and something inside him shattered like glass breaking into a thousand pieces.

Low, shuddering breaths escaped his lips, years of silence, years of indifference and coldness turned into a broken sigh which carried a deep sorrow, a half sob that sounded deeply broken as his hand slowly moved...

If there were someone else watching in this moment, they would find it hard to believe that a man as frightening, a man as strong and intimidating had shattered in a woman’s arms.

Her arms tightened even more around him, her hands softly and very tenderly stroking his back until he couldn’t hold back anymore but had to hold her back. His arms crushed her deeper into his chest, holding her tightly as if she were his final lifeline.

Andrew’s rigid brows were drawn tightly together, his usually frightening dark eyes now red and swollen, filled with more tears as they streamed down his face. One could see the deep misery shining in his eyes, everything he had ever held back revealed in this moment.

He looked like a man crushed and fighting a storm of emotions and the only thing holding him together was the delicate woman in his arms so he held her even tighter as he unraveled.

Anne couldn’t hear anything else but the sound of the wind and the shuddering breath from him. She almost couldn’t breathe with how tightly he was holding her, but she didn’t move, she just continued to soothingly move her hands up and down his back like how one comforted a child because she knew the person whose wound she was trying to heal wasn’t just this Andrew, but the past version of him as well.

Time flew by but the hug didn’t break until a slow, chilling drizzle began to fall from the sky.

When the first drop of rain fell on Anne’s skin from above she froze, then looked up.

It was really raining.

So it was true what people said, the weather in the Netherlands was indeed unpredictable.

The rain slowly began to get heavier, and Anne realized they would be all drenched if they didn’t go back inside so she moved to push away from the embrace to tell Andrew that they needed to go back inside but he didn’t let her go. Holding her even tighter, his arms strong and insistent.