Become a Star-Chapter 159

“Do you drive to school yourself?”

The director asked from the back as Woo-Jin got in the driver’s seat.

“Yes, I do. I was being a nuisance to my manager by asking him to drive me every day, so I got my license not long ago.”

“Then you must be a beginner driver…”

Only then did the ‘new driver’ sticker stuck on the back window enter the director’s eyes.

“I haven’t gotten in any accidents yet,” Woo-Jin replied.

Contrary to the director’s concerns, Woo-Jin drove very skillfully. Woo-Jin changed lanes on roads with a lot of traffic so naturally that no one would think he had started driving about one month ago.

Only then did the director and video jockey let out a sigh of relief. Woo-Jin grinned as he watched their reactions.

“Didn’t you use public transport frequently in the past?” asked the director.

Woo-Jin had mentioned it in one of his initial interviews and was often seen taking public transport until last winter. There were many stories talking about Woo-Jin’s incognito appearances in public.

“I did. But more people have started recognizing me since the new year, and it was disturbing the others around me.”

Woo-Jin couldn’t use public transport for the same reason as why he couldn’t go to the library. The noise and commotion around him would bother others, and Woo-Jin didn’t want to be a nuisance. Additionally, since it was more crowded in public areas, there were higher chances of some undesirable incident happening. Thus, Woo-Jin had no choice but to drive a car.

The director attentively listened to Chae Woo-Jin’s explanation, when he suddenly remembered the incident in the subway where some strangers were unknowingly insulting Woo-Jin in his presence. The director asked whether that incident had influenced Woo-Jin’s decision to avoid public transportation.

“I would be lying if I said it didn’t have any effect. To be honest, that incident was the reason why I decided to appear on The King of the Masked Singers. They were doubting my skills and said that my success was probably thanks to a sponsor, which made me flare up at that moment.”

This was the first time Woo-Jin had talked about the reason behind his participation in The King of the Masked Singers. Many people assumed that it was because Woo-Jin wanted to get revenge on Min Si-Hoo, the reigning Masked King. This was the first time Woo-Jin honestly told the public his reasons.

“Considering that you were getting angry and frustrated, many people said you were very polite and acted like a gentleman towards those two.”

Woo-Jin smiled brightly at the director’s words. Since the car stopped at a red light, Woo-Jin used the opportunity to face the camera.

“That day was when the reality that I had become a celebrity hit me. I realized that there was a difference between what I wanted to say and what I could actually say. If I had let my emotions take over and spoke my mind, it would only cause a scandal and I would be unable to defend myself.”

If Woo-Jin had gotten swayed by his emotions, that day would’ve caused a scandal and become a stain on his track record. People always cursed others and call them names behind their backs, so were these strangers really at fault for unknowingly gossiping about Woo-Jin in the latter’s presence?

Humans usually defend the weak from the strong due to emotions and empathy. And when an incident occurrs between a celebrity and a civilian, the public judged the former to be the strong and acted accordingly. On the other hand, celebrities sometimes evaluated the public’s judgments and coercions as an act of power of the strong, while they were the weak who were being oppressed by the demands of the general public.

The criteria for categorizing the strong and the weak was different for everyone and it was dependent on their point of view. It was an interesting phenomenon to study.

Additionally, if a celebrity deemed themselves as strong, they would become arrogant. But if they considered themselves weak, they would be irritable and were prone to nervous breakdowns.

Woo-Jin didn’t intend on becoming the oppressor nor the oppressed. He just wanted to be acknowledged and loved by everyone.

The traffic light turned green. Woo-Jin spoke frankly as he pressed on the accelerator.

“Do you know the saying ‘if you feel cheated, then become successful in life’? I don’t really like that expression, but that was the only thing I could tell myself back then. But I wondered if I was being too petty and childish when I decided to participate on The King of the Masked Singers.”

“So basically, Hanryang Doryeong was born thanks to that stranger in the subway. Then everyone should thank them if they ever bump into them outside.”

The director responded light-heartedly as he could hear a hint of bitterness in Woo-Jin’s voice and sensed many complex emotions stemming from the Blue Fit scandal.

“Now that I think about it, that person wasn’t really at fault. The reason why they misunderstood me was because I hadn’t allowed the public to know the real me, so it was partly my fault,” Woo-Jin spoke his thoughts out loud.

“Is that why you decided to star in our show?”

“Not quite. Why are you asking that when you already know the answer~”

The fact that CEO Choi Won-Hee was personally going around different agencies looking for three actors to star in Life Depicted was already a well-known story. It was already too late to glamorize their motive to cast Woo-Jin to put them in a better light. The director’s awkward coughs could be heard through the camera.

Although the production crew had high expectations for Chae Woo-Jin’s school life, they all sighed and shook their heads in exhaustion once afternoon came. Their hopes of capturing Woo-Jin’s daily life with his friends and potentially a lover at the school campus had been completely shattered to dust and scattered away in the wind.

They arrived on campus and started off with Woo-Jin’s first morning class, which was quickly followed by another with no proper break in between, and the cycle continued. Woo-Jin could only grab lunch after 2p.m., and he immediately entered an empty auditorium and used his spare time to study after finishing his meal.

Student Chae Woo-Jin was busy preparing for his midterms and bar exam. Thus he had no time to worry about portraying the lifestyle the production crew was expecting from him.

“Why do you work so hard?”

The director couldn’t resist asking the actor who was reading a thick textbook. Although Woo-Jin was busy studying, the director judged that they could bother for a bit since Woo-Jin had told them they could ask anything they wanted. Woo-Jin raised his head from the book and fortunately, there was no displeasure on his face for having his study session interrupted.

“What do you mean?” He asked.

“Can’t you give yourself a bit more leeway and relax a little?”

Although he was still young and had room for growth, Chae Woo-Jin was definitely going to be a successful actor. Moreover, they wouldn’t know if he would pass the bar exam. But since Woo-Jin had passed the second round, the possibility was high and people were optimistic. The director didn’t know what path Woo-Jin would choose in the end, but he thought that the current Chae Woo-Jin could relax a bit more.

“I’m not so sure about that. Look around us. I’m not the only one who is struggling, nor do I seem to be a special case.”

Woo-Jin directed his gaze to the other students around them. Even if everyone wanted to take different paths in life, people generally ended up walking down the same path. There was an organizational restriction and culture in this country that forced the inhabitants to paint their lives using a shared pool of materials, only to end up with very similar looking canvases.

“The reality of our society is that people have no choice but to follow the same path until they reach their desired destination, regardless of their goals.”

“But don’t you think you’re already halfway there?” the director asked.

“I’m still too young to be talking about being successful in life.”

Woo-Jin flailed his hands, emphasizing that he still had a long way to go. As someone who had lived countless lives, Woo-Jin knew how meaningless it was to aim to be ‘successful’ in society.

Woo-Jin had lived through so many lives where he thought he had failed to be successful till the very end. However, those lives were now being praised and evaluated as distinguished experts of their time.

On the other hand, there were many cases where he was satisfied with his life—where he believed to have been successful and achieved a high status—there was not a single record of them in history. The criteria for what constituted success and a satisfactory life is truly vague and ambiguous.

“I’m just living to the best of my ability for my own sake.”

Woo-Jin saw that the director was about to ask him another question and quickly put a finger to his lips. Although it didn’t bother Woo-Jin, their conversation was disturbing the other students around them. Even Hyun-Min, who was Woo-Jin’s most supportive and helpful friend, was glaring at the actor from the side. Exams were existences that turned people into anxious and narrow-minded monsters.

After classes ended for the day, Woo-Jin went to the gym and exercised before making his way home. On their way back, the director asked the question that he couldn’t ask earlier.

“What do you mean by living for your own sake?”

“It’s exactly what it means. What else could it mean?”

“Many people say they live for themselves, but they all end up living very different lives. I was wondering what living for your own sake meant specifically to you.”

Just like how the standards for success were different for everyone, the meaning of living for one’s sake wasn’t the same for everyone. The director was curious to know where Woo-Jin’s expanded towards as he lived for ‘his own sake’.

“I wish I could get good grades and hopefully a scholarship this semester since I didn’t miss too many classes. I want to make my parents happy by passing the bar exam. I hope my movies keep being box office hits as they have been so far, etc. That’s what I want for myself; a life where I fulfill the small dreams and wishes in my everyday life.”

The scope which Woo-Jin considered as living for his own sake was a lot more trivial and narrower than what the director was expecting.

“Your small dreams sound ordinary but they also sound quite difficult to achieve,” the director commented.

It was true that Woo-Jin’s small wishes were ordinary and it seemed like they were wishes that everyone would have. But despite being ordinary dreams, it was very difficult to make any one of them come true.

“They’re common wishes that everyone dreams of in their daily lives,” Woo-Jin replied.

“But only a limited number of people can make them come true.”

“That’s what makes it precious and beautiful.”

“Makes what precious and beautiful?” the director asked.

“The life that one builds with their family and friends. My life is not worth more than someone else’s because I achieved something that’s difficult to do. The reason why I like my current life is because there are people around me who will be truly happy for me from the bottom of their hearts if I become successful. The gratitude I feel for those who are happy for me is precious, and the fact that I’m not facing life alone makes it beautiful.”

Woo-Jin then mentioned the recent incident as an example to prove his point. Although it was an embarrassing and secretive story to tell, Woo-Jin had come to an important realization through this incident.

“When the article in question was published, my family and the people around me believed in me, got worried for me, and got angry for my sake alongside me even though there was no reason for them to trust me. That’s when I realized that I really should give it my all when living my life.”

Woo-Jin’s first thought was not that he had lived a good life. Instead, it was resolve for the future.

These people hadn’t stood by Woo-Jin’s side because there was some evidence defending him or because they firmly believed in his innocence. Their love for the human known as ‘Chae Woo-Jin’ simply took precedence which caused them to unconditionally trust him. If Chae Woo-Jin ever did something wrong, these people would be disappointed in him and admonish him, but their love for him would not wane.

Woo-Jin felt a sense of responsibility because it was as if he had peeked into their hearts. If Woo-Jin went down the wrong path, they would have no choice but to side with him. They would justify his wrongdoings and distort the truth just because they cared about him.

“It scared me. That’s why I praised the past me but warned the future me. ‘Make sure you live a good life from now on.’ I need to become happy and live a long life alongside my family and friends. So the first thing I need to do is to live for myself. If I love myself, I wouldn’t ruin my own life, and I would never disappoint my loved ones,” Woo-Jin said.

Now that his mindset had changed, Woo-Jin’s vision of the world and his life suddenly became beautiful. Throughout his past lives, Woo-Jin simply considered life as the state of being alive and surviving. There was no concept of spending time and energy to fulfill a dream back then.

But these days, Woo-Jin had been constantly pondering about the final objective he wanted to achieve before dying. He wondered why he dreamed and why he is living to achieve that dream. But as he kept thinking about this, an answer naturally came up in his mind.

He lived to walk alongside his loved ones and dreamt about dreams that he wanted to share with them.

He wanted to share his heart with more and more people, expanding beyond his family and friends, just like the photo exhibition titled ‘The People I Love’ which he had seen before.

These were the sincere thoughts that came from inside Woo-Jin's heart and soul From the person whom the director thought was pushing himself for no reason.

“It seems like you’ve had a lot to think about because of the recent incident. In that case, may I ask you one last question?” the director asked.

Woo-Jin nodded in affirmation.

“What do you plan on doing if you pass the final round of the bar exam?”

Chae Woo-Jin had mentioned that he was taking the bar exam to express his gratitude to his mother, who had silently watched over him without opposing his choice to become a celebrity.

Many joyful things had happened since Woo-Jin became an actor, but there were many painful incidents as well. Even strangers could guess how concerned and sad Chae Woo-Jin’s parents must have felt during the Blue Fit scandal and the recent rumors.

Thus, it seemed natural for Woo-Jin to work hard to pass the bar exam. In return, many people were wondering how determined he was about the paths which he would take in life.

Woo-Jin showed the most serious expression today in response to the director’s careful question.

“I will…”

Woo-Jin pondered for a moment and slowly opened his mouth, when episode 1 of Life Depicted came to an end.