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Alpha's mate is a male?!?-Chapter 166: Vulnerable Infront of him
Chapter 166: Vulnerable Infront of him
Ace shifts slightly, adjusting his position, and the movement causes even more of their skin to touch.
Kieran’s fingers twitch against Ace’s waist, resisting the urge to grip, to hold. He clenches his jaw.
"Ace," he murmurs, voice tight.
Ace doesn’t answer. He just nuzzles in closer, his cheek pressing against Kieran’s chest like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
Kieran swallows hard. He’s been through battles, through war, through sleepless nights filled with blood and responsibility weighing on his shoulders. But nothing, nothing, has tested his self-control like this moment.
The room is quiet except for the faint sound of their breathing.
Ace’s body is warm, solid, and impossibly close. Kieran can feel the slow rise and fall of his chest, the slight shiver that runs through him, whether from exhaustion or something else, Kieran doesn’t know.
All he knows is that Ace is right here, bare, vulnerable, and trusting him to be the one to hold him.
Kieran clenches his teeth, his grip tightening slightly around Ace’s waist, not enough to pull him closer, but just enough to remind himself that he can handle this.
That he has to handle this. Because if he doesn’t, if he lets himself think too much, feel too much, he might forget every reason why this is a terrible idea.
He shuts his eyes.
If only Ace was dressed in something.
If only Kieran could pretend this wasn’t driving him insane.
Kieran closes his eyes, wrapping his arms around Ace unconsciously, pulling him closer, holding him the way he wants.
His muscles are tense with restraint, but his body betrays him, reacting to Ace’s warmth pressed against him.
He keeps himself conscious, careful, knowing this situation is already dangerous for him in ways that have nothing to do with physical strength.
Ace shifts uncomfortably, and Kieran feels it immediately. It’s not a small movement-it’s restless, filled with frustration.
What really bothers Ace isn’t physical discomfort.
Inside, Ace feels hollow.
Empty.
There’s a void in his chest, swallowing everything, and he has been trying-desperately-to find something that will fill it.
But nothing works.
Not the passing of time, not distraction, not even the comforting warmth of Kieran’s arms around him.
And maybe that’s what hurts the most.
Kieran is warm. Safe. The arms around him feel like home, and for a moment, Ace wants to surrender to that feeling.
But every time he begins to, his mind reminds him-this is the man who let your father die. This is the man who couldn’t save his father. This is the reason he has no parents now.
Ace doesn’t want to be angry at Kieran. Because he knows Kieran would never have just let his father die.
The situation must have been terrible. There must have been circumstances that made it impossible.
But still, Ace is angry. He doesn’t understand why exactly-maybe it’s grief, maybe it’s misplaced blame, or maybe it’s just easier to be mad at Kieran than to admit that there was never any real way to change what happened.
But he also knows Kieran is hurting, too. Ace can see it, in the way he’s been carrying himself, in the way he’s been pulling away.
In the way he’s been screaming at himself inside, blaming himself just as much-if not more-than Ace ever could. This is all your fault. You killed both of his parents.
And Ace hates it.
He hates seeing Kieran like this, drowning in guilt and grief. It’s one of the reasons he called him to bed.
I need you. And I don’t want you to spend the night along blaming yourself.
That’s what he was trying to say. And even now, even wrapped in Kieran’s arms, Ace still feels mad at him.
He still feels that void inside him, a black hole that refuses to close, no matter how tightly Kieran holds him.
Ace shifts again, more restless than before. He has no peace. He needs something.
Anything to fill the hollow inside him.
"Do you wanna sleep with me right now? Are you in the mood for sex right now?"
The words leave his mouth before he even thinks about them. But he doesn’t take them back.
He means it.
If it will make this feeling go away-if it will make him forget, even just for a little while-then he doesn’t care.
Kieran’s entire body goes rigid. freёnovelkiss.com
"Ace..." he calls his name, his voice strained, hesitant.
But Ace doesn’t want hesitation. He doesn’t want to be stopped. He interrupts immediately.
"Do you want to or do you not? Yes or no."
Kieran swallows hard. He feels his pulse hammering in his throat, in his chest. His body is screaming at him to just give in, to let this happen. But deep down, he knows why Ace is asking this.
"No, not no..." Kieran forces himself to say, his voice hoarse, uneven. He’s burning. He can feel the heat thrumming under his skin, making every inch of him ache with longing.
"No?!" Ace repeats in disbelief. His voice is sharp now, the sting of rejection cutting deep.
Kieran watches as Ace sits up abruptly, the mattress shifting with him.
"Whoa, okay, I’ll just find something else to do. Can’t take any more rejections from you. After all, that’s all you’ve been doing to me since we met, making me feel disgusting!"
Ace starts struggling to get off the bed, and Kieran’s heart twists painfully.
"Ace, please, can you stop?! Please, just stop this!" His voice cracks as he reaches for him, gripping his wrist, desperate to keep him from pulling away again.
Ace freezes, but he doesn’t turn around.
"I know how you’re feeling," Kieran continues, his voice quieter now but no less intense. "And it’s the reason why it’s leading you to act like this, to talk like this. I’m sorry, okay? I failed you. I don’t even deserve to stand in front of you after what I did to you. I’m the reason you lost your parents, and even being this close to you right now... I feel like I don’t deserve it."
His throat tightens, and he blinks rapidly, forcing back the stinging in his eyes.
"I’m not rejecting you right now, okay? Look at me."
Ace doesn’t move at first. But after a long, tense pause, he slowly turns.
Kieran swallows, his jaw clenching as he forces himself to be brutally honest. He shifts slightly, and Ace’s gaze drops.
Kieran can’t hide it.
His pants are tight, his body betraying him completely. There’s no way to pretend he doesn’t want Ace right now. That he isn’t on fire for him.
"My body is burning up," Kieran admits, his voice low and raw. "But I don’t want this-not like this-because I know you’re doing this out of frustration."
Ace’s expression hardens, but Kieran doesn’t let him pull away again.
"I know, Ace," he continues. "I know that what you’re feeling right now isn’t going to fade, no matter what you do. No matter how many distractions you try to throw at it. But can you please allow me to help you process these emotions?"
Ace’s breath is uneven. His chest rises and falls in quick, shallow movements. His fingers twitch at his sides.
They go quiet for a long moment.
Kieran watches as Ace fights himself. Fights the emotions raging inside him. Fights the storm that he doesn’t know how to control.
Finally, Ace lets out a slow breath. His shoulders drop slightly, tension draining out of them.
He’s still mad. He’s still hollow.
But for now, he lets Kieran hold him.
And for now, that has to be enough.
But it isn’t. Not really.
Ace feels Kieran’s arms tighten around him, holding him close, as if he’s afraid Ace will slip through his fingers if he lets go even a little.
His warmth seeps into Ace’s skin, and for the briefest moment, Ace allows himself to close his eyes, to just breathe.
It should feel comforting. It should make things easier.
But it doesn’t.
Because it’s still there-that gaping emptiness inside him. That unbearable, suffocating void. It sits heavy in his chest, swallowing everything, refusing to be ignored.
Ace’s fingers twitch against Kieran’s arm. His throat burns.
His body is exhausted, his mind weary from fighting, from thinking, from feeling too much and too little all at once.
But there’s still something unsettled inside him, something clawing at the edges of his sanity, something that won’t stop screaming that this-this moment right here-isn’t enough.
Kieran’s voice breaks through the silence.
"I know you don’t believe me, but I do understand." His voice is quiet, raw, thick with emotions he barely lets slip. His breath is warm against Ace’s skin. "I know what it’s like to feel like you have nothing left. To feel like you’re standing on the edge of something, and no matter which way you step, you’re just going to fall."
Ace’s jaw tightens. He doesn’t want to hear this. He doesn’t want to listen.
Because if he listens, he might start to believe him.
And if he believes him, then he might have to stop being angry.
And if he stops being angry... then what does he have left?
Ace doesn’t move. His breathing is slow but uneven, his pulse quick but shallow. He wants to say something, anything, but his voice stays locked in his throat.
Kieran shifts slightly, just enough to press his forehead against the side of Ace’s head. The gesture is hesitant, careful, almost as if he’s testing whether Ace will push him away again.
Ace doesn’t.