All My Murim Noonas Are Obsessed With Me!-Chapter 92: Men Went Extinct (1)

A deep breath echoed through the shop.

"It’s because... while we were summoning you, the god of that world snatched you away."

"This is YOUR fault!!!"

"I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!"

"Ugh... my neck..."

I clutched the back of my neck and slumped against the wall.

To think my sudden, clueless abduction into this world had such a ridiculous backstory.

"...Hold on. Why were you trying to summon me in the first place?"

Because no matter how you sliced it, they were just a different flavor of kidnapper. Whether it was her side or the Divine Heaven and Earth, nobody had asked for my opinion.

"You agreed to it, Hero!"

"...I did?"

"Yes! You might not remember now, but you were definitely going to be summoned to our world!"

"I have zero memory of that!"

"It’s probably a side effect of crossing dimensional barriers..."

I was stunned.

I was supposed to go to their world?

"What happens if I get summoned as a hero? Do I have to crawl through hell to kill a demon king?"

"No! No need! Our demon king’s been dead for ages!"

...Huh?

"Then why summon a hero?"

"Well..."

Something felt off.

Normally heroes are called to slay demon kings. If the demon king is long gone, what’s the point?

"...Are you lying about the demon king being—"

"No! He’s really gone!"

"Then why do you need a hero?"

She sighed heavily.

"Fine, I’ll explain. It might take a while."

She laid out what had happened in their world.

It lined up with things I’d skimmed in the shop before.

The Demon King, more accurately the King of the Undying, and his undead legions had waged a decades-long war against all life on the continent. A brutal, endless struggle against enemies who kept resurrecting, until the living finally won.

The King of the Undying and his forces were eradicated, and peace supposedly returned.

...Or so they thought. 𝓯𝙧𝓮𝓮𝒘𝓮𝙗𝙣𝒐𝒗𝒆𝓵.𝓬𝓸𝒎

"The war dragged on for so long... our population is critically low now."

Decades of slaughter couldn’t be undone overnight.

Ninety percent of the continent’s living beings were gone. Entire species extinct.

"So after a grand council... we decided to summon a hero from another world to help repopulate."

"That’s a STUD HORSE!!!"

Chapter 85: Breeding Bargains and Doomed Worlds

"No! You absolutely don’t have to if you don’t want to! Even if you refuse sex, we’ll take full responsibility for bringing you here and give you the best treatment possible..."

"Yeah, sure you will!"

It’s not like I lack a libido.

This body may be small, but I’m a healthy adult male; morning wood doesn’t lie.

But that’s a hard pass.

A world so desperate for babies they drag a guy from another dimension to be a breeding stud?

Could I really enjoy sex as casual pleasure there?

One slip-up and I’d be chained in a basement, milked until I drop dead.

"Hero!! You can’t back out now!! This is breach of contract!! You agreed!!"

"I don’t remember signing anything! Show me the damn papers!"

"You said we didn’t need papers!!"

"Then tough luck! Find another hero!"

"We can’t!! Souls capable of crossing dimensional walls are incredibly rare!! It took everything we had to find you...!"

"Not my problem!"

A harem? Sure, every guy fantasizes about it once.

Spreading your seed far and wide; biologically speaking, it’s a rush, a sense of triumph.

But here’s the thing.

I don’t even know what the women in that world look like.

What if they’re all orc-faced? Then what?

"No way!! Calling them orcs is too harsh! They’re tailored to your tastes, I swear! I can personally guarantee they match your ideal type...!"

"You’re reading my memories now?!"

"Ah... forget I said that."

I sighed, rubbing my temples.

If I hadn’t ended up here, I’d be a stud horse over there.

And now that I’ve dodged that fate...

...Haa.

It’s not physically exhausting here, but mentally? I’m drained.

Everywhere I go, chaos follows.

Which is worse?

A life milked dry until death, or one rotting from boredom in the mountains, or dying to some random blade while chasing a thrill?

I covered my eyes with both hands.

I just want to go home to Earth.

"Herooo!! It was a verbal contract, but you have to honor it!! You’re putting our entire world in a bind!!"

"Contracts signed under mental duress are void!!"

"You’ve been happily using the gifts we prepared, and now you act like this?!"

"Gifts? What gif—"

Her words sparked another question mid-argument.

The shop.

If I was originally meant for their world but got hijacked, why do I still have this shop?

"...Wait. Is the ’gift’ you mentioned this shop?"

"Yes! We scraped together every last bit of influence we could spare to give you that, for a hero dropped into an unknown world with no clue! And now you’re so cold about it; what does that make us?!"

That blindsided me.

So that’s why the shop exists.

"But if it’s a gift, why not just hand me items directly?"

"Giving items outright burns far too much influence... This roundabout method lets us offer decent things. Believe me, we’d shower you with holy relics if we could!"

"...Holy relics too?"

"Yes! If we could, we’d gladly hand over the Seven Heroes’ Holy Sword, loaded with enhancement and protection magic. That’s how vital you are to us!"

Okay, that actually sounded tempting.

A holy sword; even with this frail body, my chances of randomly dying would plummet.

"That’s why we were so relieved when you bought the Hermit’s Cloak before starting your real journey. Sure, if the Hermit saw their cloak used like this they might raise an eyebrow... but we’d do anything to make survival your top priority!"

Hermit’s Cloak...

The exact name of the cloak I’m wearing now.

I’d bought it first thing because of Master’s prophecy, but I’d always wondered if 2000 points was worth it.

It perfectly hides my face, has ventilation, cold resistance, insulation; an all-purpose cloak.

"Is this cloak really that effective?"

I wasn’t sure it warranted her reaction.

Half the reason I bought it was for the aesthetic: mysterious fortune-teller with no name, age, or face.

It helped business back then, but now, traveling with the Sword Empress who already knows me, it feels a bit pointless.

Yet her response.

Was there some hidden effect I didn’t know about?

"Uh... it’s hard to explain in detail, but that cloak has saved you from danger more times than you realize."

"Really?"

"Yes. Without it, you’d probably be..."

"Probably what?"

"...Let’s just leave it at no comment."

"Tch."

Probably just dying in some random fight.

They’re crying breach of contract, but it’s their one-sided claim.

My life’s on the line here; refusing that fate isn’t pettiness.

"But is there a way for me to cross to your world?"

"You’ll come?!"

"No, it just seems like you haven’t given up..."

They say I was stolen by a wicked god, but her tone reeks of lingering hope.

Contacting me after ten years; maybe they still have a way to yank me over.

"Hmm. After you were taken by that vile god, we worked desperately to bring you back. Open the shop for a second?"

"...This won’t instantly teleport me, right?"

"Sadly, no... Just open it! Nothing will happen just from looking..."

I opened it, still suspicious.

One new thing stood out.

Right beneath the ever-present 10,000-point Return at the very top, a new entry had appeared.

Summon

Price: 10,000 points

"Buy this and you’ll come to our world!"

"Why is this so damn expensive too?!"

"The shop processes the influence you gather, so the price can’t be helped...!"

"Ha..."

Same 10,000 points as Return.

Twenty-seven years or ten thousand gold, again.

"...But Return is definitely to Earth, right?"

"Absolutely! No tricks; it’s a return to your home planet, Earth! When we set up the list, we read your deepest wish and made that the top item. It’s what you want most!"

My deepest wish was going home to Earth...

Now that I think about it, I didn’t notice it right after possessing this body.

Back then I was dying, frantically buying potions; I never had time to browse properly.

"But I have one question."

"Yes! Anything!"

"Why were the purchase buttons for Summon and Return stacked on top of each other?"

The two Purchase buttons had been overlapping; not only could I only pick one, I couldn’t even tell which was which.

"Haha... looks like a glitch. I wouldn’t know..."

"If you don’t fix this, I’m hanging up."

"Okay, okay! Fixed! It’s fixed, so please don’t—!!"

Her voice was genuinely desperate.

It actually startled me.

"See, it’s fixed?! They’re split properly now, right?! You checked?! So don’t cut me off! Don’t run away?!"

"Yeah, yeah, I checked."

Good thing I couldn’t see her face.

That voice made it sound like her eyes were bloodshot.

"Phew... thank goodness."

Hearing my reply, she calmed a little, and I asked the question that had been nagging at me.

"Why are you so obsessed with me...?"

I get the population crisis and the stud plan, but am I really worth all this?

Unless men went completely extinct, they’d recover eventually, even if slowly.

"They did."

"...Oh."

Men went extinct.

Okay... fair enough.