All My Murim Noonas Are Obsessed With Me!-Chapter 73: Dear Customer, Can I Have Your Body?

Roselia’s POV

Stagger.

"Lady... My cup isn’t even empty yet, you don’t need to refill it..."

"Drink more. Doesn’t the liquor taste good?" 𝘧𝓇ℯℯ𝑤ℯ𝘣𝓃ℴ𝓋𝑒𝑙.𝑐𝘰𝑚

"Aren’t you being too casual saying a martial artist doesn’t get drunk easily... Hic."

His speech slurred as I kept ordering drinks and filling his cup. Just a little more, and he’d be completely wasted. Even now, his occasional odd noises showed he was well on his way.

"Seriously... My master’s too much... If he’d let me out once in a while, I wouldn’t have had to sneak out... Originally, we wanted to come together, but..."

"Here, here. Your cup’s empty."

"Uuuugh..."

Gulp, gulp.

If he hated it, he could stop. But whether it was pride or love for liquor, he couldn’t stand an empty cup. How much more did he drink after that?

"..."

Thud.

He slumped forward, head hitting the table.

"...Is that it?"

Tap, tap.

"Hey, snap out of it."

I prodded his limp body. No response—just faint groans, no sign of consciousness.

Glance around.

Ensuring no one was nearby, I cleared my throat. "Ahem. Looks like he’s pretty drunk. Guess we’ll call it a night..."

As I moved to support him—

Knock, knock.

"Guest, are you still in there?"

Flinch.

A woman’s voice came from outside.

"Ah, they’re still here."

"Hehe, excuse me."

The door opened, revealing a woman in an outfit like the others, but her beauty was staggering—enough to turn any head, even mine. I glanced down at myself. My size wasn’t lacking, but her clothes flaunted everything, while my blood-colored robe hid me. No competition.

"...What’s your business?"

"Hello. I’m the manager of the Golden Orchid Tavern. I came to apologize for our staff’s earlier rudeness."

"...Apologize?"

"Yes... I heard you’re guests who enjoy drinking, so I thought..."

Behind her, an absurd number of liquor bottles lined up.

"I’ve come to personally pour for you and explain the drinks. As the manager, of course."

"...What?"

"Hehe, it’s our highest level of hospitality."

Her seductive smile triggered my instincts. I spat out a refusal.

"No. He’s had too much tonight. We’re leaving. I appreciate the gesture, but I’ll pass."

"Oh my... Already?"

"He must’ve enjoyed the drinks I poured."

Her flustered expression made me smirk inwardly.

"Step aside. We’re heading to our lodging..."

Just as I spoke with a victor’s smile—

"...Wow, more liquor..."

Flinch.

His familiar voice cut through.

"Didn’t we order everything...? Why’s there more...?"

A slurred, drunken drawl that stirred something in me. As I reeled—

"Haha... Guest, I’m the manager of the Golden Orchid Tavern. I came to apologize for our staff’s rudeness."

"So that liquor too...?"

"Yes, these are rare, precious drinks we keep here. Do you like liquor, sir?"

"Heehee... I do..."

"Perfect. If it’s alright, I’d love to pour for you and explain each one. How does that sound?"

Their conversation wrapped up while I was still thrown. Part of me worried, but another felt relieved. He’d said he didn’t like women pouring drinks. He’d turn her down—

"Of course I’d love that..."

Oh, right. I forgot. He didn’t care who poured—he just loved liquor.

What is this guy?

Roselia, the vampire woman, was flustered. Her plan was to wedge between this close pair, seduce the man, and savor the woman’s despair. But now, things weren’t going as expected.

"This drink is Jade Bright Wine. Long ago, an old man in the mountains went fishing and..."

Pour.

I couldn’t process my own words. Something enchanted me, making my still heart pound.

"More, please!"

"Uh... Sir, you’re quite drunk, but there’s plenty left, so take it slow—"

"More!!"

"...Alright."

His slurred, liquor-soaked voice. Normally, a man like this would repulse me, but it drew me in. What is this guy?! Is he an incubus? I’d come to seduce him, but I was the one falling. He couldn’t be an incubus—I’d never seen one, even in my previous world. But...

Gulp, gulp.

"Haaaah..."

This didn’t make sense. Me, a noble of the bloodline, falling for a human? A human whose face I hadn’t seen?

Impossible.

Get a grip, Roselia. The noble bloodline hunts, it doesn’t get hunted.

Recalling the Lord’s grace, I took a deep breath, reigniting my charm.

"Hehe, sir, are you enjoying my service?"

"I am..."

"I’ve never met such a wonderful guest—it’s making my heart race. Perhaps..."

As I leaned toward his unseen face—

Crash!

"...Oops. My mistake."

The woman across from us shattered a plate, her expression unmistakably displeased.

Hehe.

Finally, things were going my way. I’d seen her type before. If she had a problem, she should speak up—petty displays like that only made her look intimidating to him.

"No need to pay. Are you hurt?"

"Now that you mention it, there’s a big bug in here. I’d appreciate it if you’d shoo it away."

"Oh my, a bug? I’m terrified of bugs myself."

I pulled the man closer, trying to slip into his arms, but—

"Ugh."

Thud.

...?

He fell into mine instead. Smaller than he seemed. Slightly thrown off but staying calm, I placed a hand on his back, pulling him into my embrace.

"Mmph."

His face pressed against my chest.

"...What are you doing?"

"You said there was a bug... When I’m scared, I cling to something to calm down."

"For a woman who doesn’t seem young, that’s not a dignified habit."

Crack.

This damn wench?

Daring to jab at my age? She didn’t look that young herself—did she think youth was everything? I might look like this, but I’m only 70—a young vampire!

Boiling...

I forced down my rising anger to stay composed. Losing my temper would only hurt me. A true winner turns the tables.

"Oh my... Unexpected. You sound like you’re no spring chicken with that tone. An old hag might talk like that."

Cough.

I sneered as her face twisted, then placed my hand on his hood, riding the momentum to peek at his face—

Clunk.

"...Huh?"

It stopped halfway, caught on something, unyielding. What’s this? I’d thought this world lacked magic, but something was at play. Clicking my tongue, I lowered the hood as if nothing happened.

"What are you doing...?"

"Nothing, sir. Just brushing off dust."

"...Don’t touch him so carelessly."

She’d recovered, glaring at me again.

Pfft.

The more I looked, the more I wanted to laugh. Her looks were striking, and though her cloak hid it, her figure was impressive. With a body like that, why hadn’t she used it? If she’d been waiting for today, too bad. I’d make sure this man’s body craved more than an ordinary woman could offer.

Slide.

"Sir... Aren’t you feeling sleepy?"

"I’m sleepyyy..."

"The Golden Orchid Tavern offers lodgings for guests who’ve had too much. If you’re alright with it, how about tonight..."

My fingertips grazed his body, tickling his stomach, then sliding to stroke his thigh.

"Mmm..."

Savoring his slightly excited tone, I whispered seductively, "Sir, does it feel good?"

And then—

"No!"

Smack.

With a cute yelp, my hand was swatted away. Startled, I glanced at him—clutching himself in an X-shape, shrinking back.

"No naughty stuff..."

Snap.

Something in my head broke. This was seduction. Sure, I couldn’t see his face, but with that delicious scent, he couldn’t be ugly. Hiding this much? He had to be worth seeing.

Swish.

"Sir, I’ll give you a special treat, just for you..."

"Nooo..."

As I edged closer, he backed away. I lunged to pin him—

Whoosh!

"...That’s enough."

A sword embedded in the wall before me, blocking my path.

+

Sword Empress’s POV

Haa...

I stared at the manager throwing herself at him. An unfamiliar, sticky, unpleasant feeling welled in my chest—jealousy. I’d never felt it before. My life had been swinging my sword, outstripping peers and seniors so fast I’d only been the target of envy, never the one feeling it. To feel it now, over this, was alien.

"Sir, here, I’ll feed you myself. Say ’ah—’"

"Ah—"

Crack.

The chopsticks in my hand snapped, grazing my skin as they fell. To pull this on a man who clearly has someone? Sure, we weren’t lovers, but to an outsider, didn’t we look close? A man and woman in a tavern late at night—it’s not casual. Yet the manager herself was this rude? A vile hobby. She’d probably done this plenty.

Sip.

I took a sip of liquor, watching them with cold eyes.

"Heehee... It’s good..."

His voice, languid and sultry from drink, could seem seductive to someone unaware.

"Ta-da!"

Crash!

"...Oops. My mistake."

I shattered a plate, not on purpose. She looked startled.

"I’ll cover the cost later. Go ahead and finish."

I watched to see how far she’d go. Her clinging to him, pretending to fear bugs, was infuriating.

"For a woman who doesn’t seem young, that’s not a dignified habit."

I smirked as her face twisted. Her beauty was undeniable, but she didn’t look young—late twenties, maybe older, given her behavior. I looked younger, though she couldn’t know my real age.

Sip.

Savoring my jab’s victory—

"Oh my... You sound like you’re no spring chicken. An old hag might talk like that."