A Former Police Officer Who Died And Get A Second Life!-Chapter 140: Afraid of Being Unneeded

For some reason, he always felt like he could speak honestly about what was in his heart when he was here.

As they sat down among the flowers Joa pulled Qiong Xing onto his lap in a protective way and Qiong Xing leaned his head against Joa’s broad chest.

"Albe was crying. He said he was sorry because he couldn’t do anything. But Albe didn’t do anything wrong. This is my problem. I was the one who didn’t realize what was happening with my own body..."

"Yeah, it would have been good if someone noticed earlier. But think about it... this is the first time for everyone. Do you really think anyone could have noticed?" Joa replied.

"...."

Hearing the steady rhythm of Joa’s heartbeat beside his ear made Qiong Xing feel calmer.

"Even for me, this is the first time having a male partner like this. It’s the same for you, right? Normally you would marry a human woman and when she gets pregnant, you would raise the child together. That’s what’s considered normal. But right now, even though you’re a man, you’re my partner. And even though I’m a man, I’m your partner too. Of course things feel confusing because everything is happening for the first time. But if that’s how you feel, you need to tell us properly."

"...I’m scared."

"I get that. I’m scared too."

Joa gently patted Qiong Xing’s back in a steady rhythm, almost like calming a child before sleep.

Qiong Xing hugged him tightly.

"Every time everyone... Fei, Leander, Elias, Albe, all of them tell me not to do anything because they’re worried about me... I start to feel pathetic. It’s true that as a human I’m weaker and more fragile than anyone living there... but still! I’m a man too. I’m not some helpless child who can’t do anything. Just because I’m carrying a baby, if they tell me not to do anything at all... it makes me feel like my own value as a person is disappearing. And that scares me."

"I see... you’re right. That’s our fault. When you first came here, you were already feeling down because you thought you couldn’t do anything," Joa said quietly.

Just when Qiong Xing had finally started to feel like he could do something for everyone, he was suddenly told not to do anything at all.

Of course he would feel anxious.

He had been relying on his mates so much and now they were even taking time off from their work just to take care of him.

It made him wonder how much he was holding everyone back.

Every time they told him it was fine, he sometimes wondered if they secretly thought he was just getting in the way.

"I’m a coward," Qiong Xing admitted softly. "I’m afraid that everyone will start to hate me. I’m terrified that the people I care about will decide they don’t need me anymore... that I’m not necessary."

Because he had lost his parents when he was still young, Qiong Xing had always been hungry for affection.

He wanted someone to love him.

He wanted someone to need him.

He wanted to be connected to someone.

That was even one of the reasons he had chosen to become a police officer.

He had lived alone for so long. Yet every day, children, elderly men, and elderly women would pass by the police box and greet him. 𝙛𝒓𝒆𝙚𝒘𝒆𝓫𝙣𝓸𝙫𝓮𝒍.𝒄𝒐𝓶

That simple greeting made him happy.

Having someone talk to him every day made him happy.

"You said beastmen are very affectionate, right? Elias once said that kind of love might feel heavy for humans. But for me... that weight made me happier than anything. When Leander, Elias, and you told me that you guys would love me the same way forever... I was really happy."

Someday, he would part ways with Cari, Albe and Mayo.

But the three men who were bound to him as his mates would stay by his side until the end.

"And that’s why I want to give something back to everyone. I want to do something that helps all of you. If I can’t... if I can’t do that, then I don’t know what I’m supposed to do."

Tears kept flowing from Qiong Xing’s eyes as he pressed his face against Joa’s warm chest.

He cried like a child and for a moment he worried that Joa might be tired of him.

When he finally lifted his face, something warm touched his heated eyelids.

"I love you. I can’t compare you to Vita... but more than anyone else in this world, I love you, Qiong Xing," Joa said softly.

With small kissing sounds, Joa placed gentle kisses on Qiong Xing’s eyelids, forehead, cheeks, and finally his lips.

The tenderness made Qiong Xing cry even more.

"Those beautiful eyes of yours... the kindness that calms my heart... the arms that hold me and tell me you love me... everything about you, Qiong Xing, is precious to me," Joa whispered.

As if to chase away all his doubts, Joa covered his face with kisses.

"I love you too... I love you too, Joa. I really love you," Qiong Xing replied.

All three of his mates told him that they loved him the most.

But Qiong Xing could not choose only one of them and say that person was number one.

Even so, he loved each of them in his own way and he never hesitated to show that love with his words and actions.

He told them that they were precious to him and that he loved all three of them.

They were more important to him than anything else.

They were the warmth that he never wanted to lose.

"I love you too... I love you too, Joa. I really love you," Qiong Xing said through tears.

Those words that was spoken while crying were the happiest words Joa had ever heard in this world.

Qiong Xing was always smiling.

So when Joa saw him collapse with a pale face that day, his whole body had started to tremble.