Koda;

The room is cold tonight.

Cold and quiet.

Gravemaw itself is alive as always, but everything around me feels muted.

This is one of those nights where I can’t help but miss Elian. I miss him so much, it’s depressing.

It would have been rewarding if, after all the day’s work, I had his beautiful smile to return to. His little tantrums about how much work I’ve been doing and how little time I’ve spent with him.

It would have been rewarding if, after all the day’s work, I could rest my aching muscles in his embrace. But he’s not here... and all I’m left with is silence, and missing him...

For some reason, his absence has been hitting harder these past few days.

One would think that it would be easier with time, and I’d learn how to survive away from him, but that’s not true.

It’s not easier. It gets harder. In fact, it has been so hard that I had to bring myself to Mother’s castle.

Just so I can stay in our room.

He spent his last days at Gravemaw in this room, so it smells more like him here than anywhere else.

Pathetic how I tried my very best to preserve his scent here, isn’t it?

I sit at the wooden table in the corner of the room, staring at the objects spread carefully before me.

I have moved them countless times.

Arranged them, packed them away... taken them out again...

I never quite know what to do with them. And whenever I miss him too much, I come back here. To hold them and replay one particular memory.

My fingers brush lightly over the first item.

The night blue robe.

I stare at the golden stones stitched along the collar like captured sunlight. The cloth still carries Elián’s scent... though it has faded with time.

Seun made this for him.

I remember the way Elián looked when Seun pulled it out. His eyes had widened like a child who had just discovered the stars were real.

My lips twitch faintly as I remember every detail.

He had traced the stones as if they were sacred. Like he couldn’t believe someone would create something so beautiful for him.

The robe is still here. Folded and untouched.

I have not allowed anyone else to touch it. Not even Mother, when she misses him too.

Beside it rests the second gift.

The bracelet. Heavy gold.

I pick it up carefully, running my thumb across the carvings Kishan etched into its surface.

A bear.

"The bear shows that you’re one of us now."

The next carving is the sun.

"For how much light you bring."

My chest tightens.

The third carving is a moonflower.

I remember Seun’s voice interrupting Kishan proudly.

"For that scent of yours!"

My grip tightens slightly around the bracelet.

Then my thumb moves to the last carving.

...The baby. Wrapped carefully in a blanket.

Seun had called it a prayer.

"That soon enough you’d have your own little bundle of joy."

I stare at that carving longer than the others, and something painful shifts in my chest.

Elián had laughed when Seun said that, but there was something softer in his eyes.

Something hopeful. My jaw tightens as I shut my eyes.

Two months.

It’s been two months since I last saw him.

Two months have passed since the attack forced him away for his safety.

It’s been two months of having just letters as the way to reach him, while I craved to hold him.

His letters are always filled with small things.

Questions about Gravemaw, updates about Nagari, little jokes, and little reassurances...

He always ends them the same way.

Take care of yourself, Koda.

My fingers tighten around the bracelet. Because for the past few weeks, I have not answered his letters.

Not once, and that guilt sits heavy in my chest.

I haven’t written back, because every time I try to... the words refused to come.

How can I tell him the truth? How can I explain that Gravemaw is standing, but it doesn’t feel the same without him?

How can I tell him about the complexities that now surround Alana?

How can I confess to him that every night I lie awake wondering if I am strong enough to protect the people who depend on me?

I can’t.

I could not write those things. Elián deserves peace... Not my burdens.

\

So for the past few days, I have been silent and told myself it was the right choice.

I have been silent, but the adamant little bun keeps writing.

I exhale slowly, setting the bracelet back on the table as my gaze drifts to the window.

Somewhere beyond the mountains... Elián is sleeping.

I wonder if he still laughs the same way. If he still hums to himself when he thinks no one is listening... If he still curls his fingers into whatever fabric is closest to him when he sleeps.

The memories make something ache deep inside my ribs.

I miss him.

More than I allow myself to admit.

A knock interrupts my thoughts, and I raise a brow.

Three short taps. Tells me exactly who’s knocking.

Rowan.

"Come in," I call, and the door opens.

Rowan steps inside, closing it carefully behind him.

He bows slightly.

"Alpha Koda." He greets, and I nod in response.

"What is it?" I ask, and he steps forward, before lifting a sealed envelope.

"Another letter has arrived for you from Nagari." He notes, and my heart stops.

He places the letter on the table, and then says the words I’ve been yearning.

"It’s from Master Elian."

"Thank you," I reply as I take the letter, and Rowan bows again before quietly leaving the room

.

The door closes, and silence returns.

Before I can stop myself, I rip the letter open.

I stare at the familiar handwriting, and my heart warms as I recognise the shape of every letter.

Every curve of ink. The paper unfolds carefully beneath my hands as eyes move over the first line.

My dearest Koda,

My chest tightens as I wish I could hear him say these words, but my eyes move to the next line.

I owe you an apology.

My brow furrows.

An apology?? For what?

There’s a secret I have kept from you.

I read the next line, and something cold settles in my stomach.

A secret?

My fingers tighten slightly against the paper as I brace myself for the next line.

I’m pregnant, Koda, with our baby.

Everything inside me freezes, and for a moment, my brain forgets what comprehension is.

The words blur for a second before snapping back into focus, and one... word rings repeatedly in my head.

Pregnant.

Pregnant...

Pregnant!!!

My heart slams violently against my ribs as I read the line again... and again... and again.

My mind refuses to process it.

...Until it finally does.

A sound escapes my throat.

Not quite a laugh, and not quite a breath.

My hand moves to my mouth as my entire body suddenly feels too large for the space around me.

PREGNANT.

Elián is pregnant!!

With my child!!

My chair scrapes loudly against the floor as I stand.

I don’t even remember deciding to move, I just do.

My hands shake as I reread the letter.

Two months. He’s been gone for two months, and for two months, he carried our child alone.

For two months, he protected this secret.

My chest tightens painfully.

Not in anger. I could never be angry at him.

My heart just feels... heavier with something overwhelming.

He kept this from me so I would stay here... So I would protect Gravemore.

My throat closes.

Elián... You stubborn, selfless man.

A laugh bursts out of me suddenly.

Loud, sharp, and unroyal.

I run both hands through my hair, trying to contain myself.

"I’m going to be a father," I mutter. The words feel unreal, and they make my chest feel larger.

Warmer.

My gaze drops back to the table.

To the bracelet.

I grab it instinctively.

The baby carving gleams under the light.

Seun called it a prayer.

I stare at it for a long moment. Then I laugh again.

"I’m such a lucky bastard," I say breathless.

Because that prayer came true.

My child.

My daughter.

She’s waiting for me.

The letter trembles slightly in my hand as I read the final lines again.

Come to Nagari.

Your daughter and I are waiting for you.

Something inside my chest explodes.

Joy, relief... and Love so intense it feels almost violent.

I move before I realise it.

The door flies open as I step outside and dash down the stairs.

The cold night’s air hits my face, and I inhale sharply as I get to the hall where I can smell Mother.

"Koda?" She calls as I barge in.

Alpha Liandria is standing beside her, watching me with narrowed eyes.

Rhydian is beside them. I don’t know what they were doing or discussing, but quite frankly, I don’t care.

My laughter escapes again. Uncontrolled, as I rush towards Mother, and Rhydian frowns.

"Did you finally lose your mind?" He questions, and I hold up the letter.

"I’m going to be a father!" I announce, and the words echo through the hall.

Silence follows. Then Rhydian blinks.

"What?" He questions, and Mother stands as she steps forward slowly.

"Koda..." She begins, but I hand her the letter.

She reads it quickly, and her eyes widen.

Then she laughs softly.

"Oh." She breathes as she looks up at me.

"That explains a great many things." She laughs softly with tears building in her eyes.

Rhydian steps forward and snatches the paper next.

His eyes scan the page. Then he looks up sharply.

"Elián is pregnant?"

I grin. I cannot stop grinning.

"With my daughter," I reply, and Rhydian exhales slowly.

Then a smile spreads across his face.

"Well... about time." He whispers.

My mother folds the letter carefully as she looks at me.

"You’re leaving tonight." She orders, and I nod.

"I should have left weeks ago." I laugh, and she places the letter back in my hands.

"Then go," Rhydian says as he claps my shoulder.

"My niece needs you." He says with a smile that hides something almost... sad beneath it.

"I’ll arrange for gifts and your trip! Oh, I’m about to be a grandma!!" Mother exclaims as she grabs my wrist and pulls me towards the exit.

As we leave, one thing bounces around in my mind.

I’m going to be a Father!!