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... Majesty,” Tasty Miel replied. “We ask you if you would kindly ban vile satanic schools, and to enforce the divine covenant drafted by your saintly Vizier.”

“Do not listen to her, Your Majesty.” Tasty Malfy glared at his rival. “She is trying to stamp out free enterprise, which has been the empire’s cornerstone since its inception! We are also very, very unsure that an Averagist education is compatible with our shared company values.”

“We are uplifting the masses and downgrading the m ...

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‘He’s so cute I want to kick him flying through the air.’

Bai Yao runs a seafood restaurant in a seaside town. One day, he saw a small sentient sea otter being bullied.

Out of pity, he helped out the little sea otter.

The sea otter acts quite defensively, baring his teeth, all while still covered in wounds yet to heal.

His way of saying thanks, is gifting Bai Yao an oyster in his pocket that’s been sitting there for who-knows-how-long.

Bai Yao ends up bringing the wounded and exhausted little sea otter back to his restaurant, giving him food and a shower.

Though the sea otter is still quite scaredy and defensive. He wouldn’t let Bai Yao rub his cute little face, or even ruffle his fur.

That’s not all the quirks of the little sea otter either. Bai Yao realised he’s a dummy that didn’t even know how to anthropomorphise.

Later that day, Bai Yao wakes up in the middle of the night, when there is something soft he’s holding in his hand.

He looks, and sees the little sea otter has put his paw in his hand. The sleepyhead is also snuggling on him, his head brushing against his chest.

Not feeling drowsy enough to sleep anymore, Bai Yao just props his head on his arm, watching until the otter finally wakes up.

When he finally does, he looks around, and sees that it’s Bai Yao; he squeaks, and then nestles his face against the fingers of Bai Yao.

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Pei Jiu picked up a girl by the riverside. He settled her on the mountain, and planned to send her back once she recovered. This delicate girl was a useless crybaby, so Pei Jiu had to be a nice person. He cooked her food and washed her clothes. He let the troublesome girl ride on his shoulders so she could pick fruits. During winter, he would warm up the bed for her. One day, she hugged Pei Jiu’s arm with a smile. “Big Brother Pei, you’re really an honest and a good man. I will marry you and give birth to your babies!”

Pei Jiu eyed her critically and scathingly enumerated her shortcomings. She was ignorant and spoiled. She only knew how to pester and flirt with people all day long. Give birth to babies? Go ahead, give birth to caterpillars.

The delicate girl bawled so hard that she passed out. The next day, Pei Jiu returned to his mansion and told his servants to prepare for his wedding ceremony. When he returned to the mountain in the evening, Pei Jiu opened the door as usual, but he found that the cheeky girl had disappeared. He searched the whole mountain for her to no avail. No one would act like a spoiled brat in front of him anymore. What a headache.

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