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... herself dramatically onto the ground in front of the gates, clutching her chest like a tragic heroine from a badly written play.

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"Ohhh, woe is me!" she wailed. "A helpless, lost maiden, thrown into a cruel, heartless world!"

The guards stared.

"The horrors I have faced!" Isabella continued, rolling onto her side for extra dramatic effect. "The pain! The suffering! I have wandered for days—weeks, even!—searching for jus ...

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