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... holding back is a real challenge, plus I feel like something is fundamentally wrong with me.

Although I can’t quite put my finger on what exactly, I just feel it, like something that’s supposed to be there isn’t, like something important is only half there.

This generates a weird discomfort, it’s not pity, nor is it a desire to forgive or give up, and it’s something more physical, connected to me as a living being rather than me as a thinking being.

This feeling intensifi ...

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“We could be louder,” he whispered in a raspy voice. She shook with need and was about to turn when he clucked his tongue. “Ah, ah, ah, don't do that. I'll see you later, little girl.” And with that, he vanished.

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“My little loli likes to watch? What a naughty little girl.” She was embarrassed that she was caught and mortified by the voice of the man she recognized as ‘him’. What was he doing here? She started to turn around, but he grasped her shoulder so she couldn't move.

“No, let's watch.” His breath was at her ear, fire lapping at her nerves, singeing and burning her insides, making a pleasant feeling erupt in her stomach. His arm snaked around her shoulder and grabbed her hand while his other hand slid down to her sides until it rested on her hip. He was not pressing himself into her, but she felt completely engulfed by him. She knew she should scream, or stomp on his foot, but all she could do was listen to his breathing escalate as his thumb rubbed her shoulder, putting her in a stupor.

She thought she heard him sniff her hair and his lips lightly grazed her ears as he whispered. “Don't miss the show because of me, little girl.”

Her eyes flickered back to the couple in the car, and she let out a whimper as she saw the man pull at the woman's hair, baring her beck to him, inviting his mouth to lick and suck. She felt ‘him’ close the gap between them, his hard body pressed up against hers, his arms tightly holding her. There was no mistaking what she felt on her lower back and she closed her eyes in delight.