Rebirth: General, Don't Mess Around! - Chapter 45: He Is Molesting Me!

He died on Earth with nothing—no legacy, no power, and no second chances... or so he thought.After getting hit by a truck, a disillusioned young man awakens in the body of a boy named Zane, in a war-torn fantasy world where nations clash over power, and magic is the law of survival. Gifted a mysterious book from parents he barely knew—and now lost forever—Zane accidentally awakens the Void System, a cold, cryptic force that offers power... at a price.In a world of monsters, systems, and bloodshed, Zane doesn’t get a choice.Survive, or vanish into nothing

Forget history. Forget legacy. Forget passion.The future of football is a formula, and eighteen-year-old Michael Sterling is about to prove it.While his father, Richard, clings to the romantic, decaying dream of their beloved Northwood FC, Michael sees only one thing: failure.The club is a joke, staring down the barrel of relegation with a wage bill that could bankrupt a small nation.His solution? Sell. His father's? A lecture about the club's “soul.”Mocked by his friends and infuriated by his father's refusal to face reality, Michael snaps.He’s done trying to fix the past; he's going to build the future.Liquidating his lavish lifestyle, he gambles everything he has on a radical experiment: to create a football club run purely by logic.He'll scout with algorithms, sign players based on statistical value, and manage with cold, calculated strategy. He’s building a machine designed for one purpose: to dominate.This is the story of a young genius who declares war on the old ways, determined to build an empire so successful it will force his father, and the entire football world, to admit he was right.Can a club without a soul conquer the beautiful game?

I found myself in a parallel universe, awakening as a male priest. Everything seemed perfect; after all, as a healer, specializing in aiding women should pose no issue, right? However, I couldn’t help but wonder about some peculiar spells in my repertoire.

Firstly, what in the world is the “Instantaneous Outbreak of Acute Gastroenteritis” spell? And don’t even get me started on the “Osteoporosis” spell. What purpose could these serve in my healing endeavors? The confusion only deepened with spells like “Blood Burn,” “Gradual Freeze,” and “Mental Chaos.” Can I still peacefully focus on healing women with such ominous abilities?

Comparing my spells to those of other professions, I couldn’t help but notice the stark contrast. Mages wield “Doomstorm” and “Ice Age,” swordsmen boast “Sword Rain: Homecoming” and “Wind-Cutter Slash,” while archers showcase “Arrow Rain: Shooting Stars” and “Storm Arrow.” Yet, my ultimate spells are disturbingly named “Cancer Cell Proliferation,” “T-Virus Infection,” and “Rabies Outbreak.”

In the midst of it all, a certain character, some crying girl, laments, “Noooo, I just took a bath, who would have thought that I would become infected!”

Meanwhile, a villain chillingly asks, “Do any of you know what it feels like to burst apart while spouting blood? No! You don’t know!”

Even a boss character confesses, “Dear family, who can understand? I just took a nap, and when I woke up, I suddenly found that I have no kidneys!”

I seem to have reincarnated in the world of an r-rated romance fantasy novel. And not just as an ordinary character, but as the witch who loses her life to the crazy male lead!

Luckily there is a long 200 years until the main characters are born and grow into their roles.

Now that my life is not in imminent danger, shall we leisurely think of ways to avoid death?

However, I had not taken notice of a very important detail about the time I’d be spending ‘safe from imminent danger’. 200 years was by no means a short waiting period and by the time the younger version of the male lead appeared in front of me , I had completely forgotten the original novel’s plot!

Oh, whatever, now that it’s come to this, the only way to survive is to raise the male lead into a sane and stable adult! The first step to avoiding death by the hands of the tyrant male lead is changing this extremely frightened child’s life.

“It must be very inconvenient for you to have me suddenly show up on your doorstep, I’m sorry. You can tell me to go away, I’ll be fine.”

“Nonsense. Do I look like someone who could be inconvenienced by a little boy like you? Also, what do you mean by you’ll be fine even if told to go away? It’s not like you have anywhere to go back to, kid.”

The little boy burst into tears.

‘Oh, this is so not it.’ Was what the witch thought to herself as the little boy sobbed