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... don’t really want to write in my diary today. Or rather, I just don’t know what to write. I’d prepared myself for a tough conversation, even thought I might never get approval. But it ended up going so smoothly... For a moment, I even felt like confessing everything. But no—I can’t. I absolutely can’t.

I’m sorry. Truthfully, I’m still so scared. Scared of dying. Terrified, actually. And because of that fear, I have no choice but to distract myself like this.

I really am weak, hu ...

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