Naruto: The Hidden Protector - Chapter 78: Uchiha Madara,

Ten years ago, John and his parents were transported into a game world.This young man, full of ambition to conquer the world, unfortunately awakened the weakest class—Furniture Maker.But what troubled John most wasn’t his class.Like most transmigrators, he had a system.The only problem was—This system kept granting him strange and absurd skills.[Ding! Congratulations, Host! You’ve acquired a concept-level skill: Absolute Diarrhea Technique. Your basic attacks will cause opponents to suffer explosive diarrhea until complete exhaustion. Any creature without an anus is unworthy of being your enemy!][Ding! Congratulations, Host! You’ve acquired a concept-level skill: Mummification Wrapping Technique. Bandages crafted by you can heal all things!][Ding! Congratulations, Host! You’ve acquired a concept-level skill: You may steal and copy the abilities of anyone named John!][Ding! Congratulations, Host! You’ve acquired a bonus concept-level skill: You may forcibly rename anyone to John!]…Years later, in the Divine Realm, a lone figure stood tall above the heavens.As the sacred hymns echoed, he raised a finger—And all the gods clenched their anuses in fear.

Sakimori Kagami plays a VRMMORPG called Arch Earth Online. He is a veteran player with the name and appearance similar to an elderly bearded wizard from a certain book about a ring.

One day he purchases an appearance change item as a last resort to spend expiring currency and gets the idea of choosing what he would want to look like if his character was ever a girl.

Falling asleep should have suspended the game, but Kagami wakes up still online and feels the game has has gotten a bit more realistic. Did Arch Earth Online finally get a long-awaited update?

It was the twenty-third year of Tianxi*. Rumours traversed the streets that the all-knowing Imperial Advisor suffered a great calamity and could not help but enter seclusion to focus on cultivation. However, the commoners secretly clapped their hands and rejoiced. In the winter of the same year, a young monk appeared in the Hui Zhou Fu’s Ningyang District.

The monk’s monastic title was Xuan Min, his memories all missing, yet was versed in the arts of Feng Shui Kan Yu**. On the very first day arriving in Ningyang, he did not hesitate to take care of a dangerous manor, picking up Xue Xian, who was hidden there, along the way.

Since then, Xue Xian – who had been all-powerful in the first half of his life – gained a new life pursuit: to get this baldy*** who had only a good outer appearance to take his last breath and “smile from his grave”.

Xue Xian: If you are unhappy, then I will be happy. If you die, I’ll laugh my ass off.

Xuan Min: …

- Description from Novelupdates

When a national athlete of China laughs at being able to win a gold medal in video gaming, what a pro-gamer like yourself ought to do is take your size-42 shoe and measure it against his pretty face!