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... ully called the police, bringing a whole group of officers to the front door. Bishop Keith frantically tried to deal with the mess, having no energy to spare for the officers. He had several clergy members block them at the main entrance, cooperating but not allowing them inside.

If asked, just claim that it was science. The church was conducting educational chemistry experiments using white phosphorus, which caused an accident. Thankfully, there were no casualties.

The police of ...

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