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... d then she was spit out onto the earth.

Zoe coughed and coughed, forcefully puking up all of the water she had taken in from the river. When it was all finally out, she collapsed onto the ground, sucking in deep breaths of the glorious night air. She could breathe. She was out of the river. It was a miracle. But how had it happened? And… and where was she?

She turned over onto her back to see the sky, and she realized she was in a clearing… with a roaring bonfire at her side. She ...

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Zou Yue jumped to the side, dodging an extended claw of a growling zombie.

A pair of warm hands gripped his small waist from behind and pulled him over to a sturdy chest. The same pair of hands slowly groped his chest.

“Brother fan w—what are you doing?!” Zou carefully looked up at him.

Fan Xui smirked mysteriously at him and removed the huge shades stylishly. A clear pair of eyes met Zou’s challengingly. “since I saved you just now, why don’t you give me a kiss?”

“you… you can see!!! Aren’t you blind!!!” Zou Yue glanced in shock. He pushed himself for of his body.

Fan Xui laughed out loud, gently caressing Zou’s long black hair. “are you gonna leave me now?,” he continued groping his barely their chest through his girly tank top.

“Fuck yeah!! Let go you poser.” he pushed him away and started shooting the zombies outside with renewed passion. Fan suddenly caught his wrist. “You bastard, what are you doing, let go of my hand. The zombies are coming!!!”

“Hmm okay,” Fan Xui let go. He swiftly snapped a fluffy handcuff snugly on his wrist, tying them both together. “Now we are tied together for live and death,”

“FAN. XUI!! Get this off of me!” Zou growled at him, but the young man just laughed happily.

“Sigh, you are beautiful even when you are angry, dear,” Fan Xui whispered and pulled him up for a passionate kiss. He gently bit those soft lips and moaned. “Delicious,”

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Bad news: Xu Yanmiao traveled back to ancient times, but he himself is lazy and uninterested in anything but internet cybersecurity, which is useless in ancient times.Good news: He’s bound to a system.Bad news: The system is called the Gossip System, not the fortune-telling kind, but the kind that contains other people’s private information and scandals. Utterly useless.More bad news: This system is also glitchy, and the extent of the bugs is unknown.Even more bad news: This body is that of a minor official who can attend court meetings, while Xu, the time traveler… doesn’t understand the classics, can’t write with a brush, and is at risk of being exposed for cheating in the imperial exams.Xu Yanmiao: “…”Forget it, just lie low, wait to die, maybe dying quickly could lead to another time travel.…In the court, the emperor was furious about state affairs, and the courtiers trembled in fear.Xu Yanmiao pretended to listen attentively but was actually focused on browsing the Gossip System.[Wow, the emperor just took in a 16-year-old noblewoman yesterday! A beautiful addition! He’s getting stronger with age! And he was tossing and turning in bed all night but still has such a powerful voice now! Amazing!] [This noblewoman used to be the crown prince’s concubine! And the crown prince even knows how to write passionate love letters!] [Wow wow wow! The crown prince sneaked into the grandpa’s harem… hiss—got intimate while the old emperor was attending court! Do it quickly! Why isn’t there any video…] [Huh? Why is there no sound?]Xu Yanmiao cautiously raised his head and glanced around.[What happened? Why is everyone kneeling? Where’s the emperor?]—The emperor went to catch adultery in the harem.The “imperial exam cheating” bomb finally exploded.Xu Yanmiao couldn’t explain why his handwriting on the exam paper didn’t match his usual handwriting, nor could he answer why he didn’t understand the classics.The evidence prepared by the ousted crown prince of the emperor hit the nail on the head, and his personal bodyguard was ready to drag Xu Yanmiao away to the prison, awaiting execution in the autumn.Xu Yanmiao held onto the gossip that proved his innocence but was in a quandary:How do I explain the source of my information…[Say that I secretly met with the Chief Examiner, the Minister of Rites, three nights before the exam? Impossible, that night, the Minister of Rites was dressed as a woman, spent the night at the General’s Mansion, with the general…]The general’s body shook, and he interjected: “Your Majesty!!!!”“Although the evidence of exam cheating is solid, I believe there’s still something fishy about this. It should be re-investigated! Especially Xu… Xu… Xu Yanmiao’s attire is neat and tidy! Someone who cares so much about their appearance, how could they tarnish their reputation!”The crown prince, who couldn’t hear his thoughts: ??[Also, what’s with saying that the examiner faking yawning and tiredness was intentionally leaving me a gap for cheating? He spent the night before the exam in the pigsty without sleeping, how could he not be tired the next day? But, surprisingly, the Imperial Academy lecturer actually believed in pig’s milk…]The Imperial Academy lecturer’s face went pale, and he burst out: “Your Majesty!!!!”“I… I agree with the General’s words! How could Xu Lang cheat in the exam! He… he… he deliberately drank a glass of pure water before the exam, believing that only good-hearted people can use pure things, such a kind-hearted person, how could he cheat in the exam!”Thinking he had everything under control, the crown prince: ??Xu Yanmiao was deeply moved.[They’re all good people, even if their brains don’t work well, they’re trying their best to find reasons and excuses for me.] [But I really have no way to turn the tables, alas, it’s a pity that I haven’t finished watching the TV series I’ve been following. The old emperor angered the empress last night and got kicked out of the bedchamber, and now I’m going to die before seeing the ending. He seems to be planning to paint his face with ink and pretend to be a cat to cheer up the empress…]“Bang—”The old emperor slammed the table, forcibly interrupting the continuous stream of thoughts: “I believe Xu Yanmiao did not cheat in the exam! Release him, innocent!”The civil and military officials couldn’t wait to echo, fearing that if they were too slow, Xu Yanmiao might spill more gossip.“Yes yes yes! Release him innocent!”“Long live Your Majesty!”“Your Majesty, please end the court session! Let Xu Lang go home and rest! You’ve tired him out by making him stand for so long!”The crown prince: ??Did Xu Yanmiao drug them with hallucinogens or something?