My Hitman System - Chapter 58: Trouble

I found myself in a parallel universe, awakening as a male priest. Everything seemed perfect; after all, as a healer, specializing in aiding women should pose no issue, right? However, I couldn’t help but wonder about some peculiar spells in my repertoire.

Firstly, what in the world is the “Instantaneous Outbreak of Acute Gastroenteritis” spell? And don’t even get me started on the “Osteoporosis” spell. What purpose could these serve in my healing endeavors? The confusion only deepened with spells like “Blood Burn,” “Gradual Freeze,” and “Mental Chaos.” Can I still peacefully focus on healing women with such ominous abilities?

Comparing my spells to those of other professions, I couldn’t help but notice the stark contrast. Mages wield “Doomstorm” and “Ice Age,” swordsmen boast “Sword Rain: Homecoming” and “Wind-Cutter Slash,” while archers showcase “Arrow Rain: Shooting Stars” and “Storm Arrow.” Yet, my ultimate spells are disturbingly named “Cancer Cell Proliferation,” “T-Virus Infection,” and “Rabies Outbreak.”

In the midst of it all, a certain character, some crying girl, laments, “Noooo, I just took a bath, who would have thought that I would become infected!”

Meanwhile, a villain chillingly asks, “Do any of you know what it feels like to burst apart while spouting blood? No! You don’t know!”

Even a boss character confesses, “Dear family, who can understand? I just took a nap, and when I woke up, I suddenly found that I have no kidneys!”

Vainqueur Knightsbane is your average dragon: a giant, fire-breathing lizard who loves to take naps on his golden hoard, kidnap princesses for fun, and make the life of adventurers miserable. Vainqueur's only pleasure in life is to watch his treasure get bigger, one coin at a time.

So when a would-be thief turned unwilling minion tells him about "classes," "levels," and "quests," Vainqueur wonders if maybe, just maybe, he should consider a career change.

After all, why bother hunting monsters for free when you can get paid for it?

He Bai won the lottery, became rich, and reached the pinnacle of life. Then, he inadvertently took a picture of the Film Emperor Di Qiuhe being killed. And after reporting this case to the police, he was reborn in a midst of confusion.

He Bai: I don’t have any horrible relatives to abuse. Why was I reborn?

Di Qiuhe: But I do.

He Bai: I also haven’t been betrayed or harmed by anyone. Why was I reborn?

Di Qiuhe: But I have.

He Bai: I just want to have some money to live freely and eat well. I already achieved that goal, so why was I reborn?

Di Qiuhe: I have money, but don’t live freely or well.

He Bai angrily flips the table: So what’s the use of my rebirth! Just to make me suffer again?!

Di Qiuhe (Holding and Touching He Bai): Be my lover, you’re only responsible for eating “lollipops,” you won’t eat any bitterness.

He Bai: Leave!

So basically, this is a sweet story of a naive and cute person who goes back to the past, flaps his little butterfly wings, and helps the man who used to be last life’s big Film Emperor, but in this life, is still a miserable Great Devil King, to walk towards the pinnacle of life (while also dragging someone home)!

- Description from novelupdates

[Sweet romance + Comedy + Marriage before love + Direct approach + Both leads are witty] [Spoiler 1: The son is the male lead’s biological child. If this bothers you, please avoid.] [Spoiler 2: About twenty chapters involve the entertainment industry and reality shows, but it’s just the female lead observing drama! She doesn’t enter the industry herself! If this bothers you, please avoid.]The entire story has a comedic style. The protagonist’s mother won’t appear, and there’s no melodrama between the main couple because others have already used up all the drama!My name is Nian Sui’an, and I’m 25 years old. My parents gave me this name hoping for my safety and well-being year after year, but unfortunately, even this simple wish couldn’t be fulfilled. At 3 AM one day, while I was enjoying a CEO’s passionate love story on a certain green app, my phone knocked me into a strange world. When I opened my eyes again, I found myself as a young stepmother in a CEO world. From then on, the drama runs deep, and integrity becomes a stranger. Send me 50 bucks, and I’ll share my plan to enjoy all this juicy gossip.My name is Gu Junxing. As you can tell from my name, I’m definitely a CEO. However, in the world of CEOs, due to my law-abiding nature and punctual tax payments, I can only be an ordinary entrepreneur. But recently, at the ripe age of 35, I married a 25-year-old young wife, which suddenly earned me a place in the “May-December Romance” section of the “CEO Trending List.”My name is Gu Zhijing. As you can tell from my name, I’m also destined to become a CEO. But right now, I’m only 15 years old, so I’m just an ordinary high school student.