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... s. The tone, company, and whether or not blood was actively dripping from the speaker often served as a decent metric.

In this case, Salem stood panting in the cathedral’s vaulted entrance, smoke curling from his shoulders, ash streaking the edges of his coat, and something that looked suspiciously like bodily residue smoldering faintly along his cheekbone.

So naturally, I assumed the worst.

"I thought you were dead," I said cheerfully, swirling a chalice of stolen sacram ...

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Xu Shulou dreams she’s a character in a bizarre storybook.The male lead is Long Aotian, a man with a “Dragon Overlord” script: treasures fall into his lap, beauties vie for his heart.The first heroine is his delicate junior apprentice sister. The second, the Demon Sect’s saintess. The third… the fourth…Where does Xu Shulou rank? She flips through the plot and realizes—despite being Long Aotian’s official fiancée, she’s nothing but a disposable pawn.In the story, her sect elders dote on her fragile junior sister.“Shulou, yield this treasure to your sister. She’s weaker and needs it more.”“Shulou, don’t be unreasonable. Your gentle sister deserves care.”Even Long Aotian prefers the junior sister. He’s a flirtatious mess, forcing Xu Shulou to compete with other women, her jealousy twisting her into a villain. Meanwhile, the junior sister blossoms into a pristine lotus.But Xu Shulou refuses to play along.When the script demands she and her junior sister be kidnapped, Long Aotian saves the “weaker” girl, saying, “Shulou, you’re stronger—you’ll understand.”In reality? Long Ao Tian arrives just in time to see Xu Shulou slaughter the villains, scoop her sister into her arms, and vanish into the sky—without sparing him a glance.When demons attack, the story expects Long Aotian to leave his fiancée and lovers in the sect’s care. The elders protect only the junior sister, letting Xu Shulou be humiliated.In reality? The elders sneer: “Our senior sister dominates the cultivation world. Why would we need you to worry about her?”When the story’s Long Aotian coaxes the Demon Saintess into betraying her clan for him…In reality, the Saintess timidly asks Xu Shulou: “You’re a righteous heroine. I’m a hunted demon. Why would you want to befriend me?”In the script, Xu Shulou claws at other women in jealous rage.In reality, she’d rather live in peace—until Long Aotian pushes too far. Then she draws her sword.In the story, Long Aotian reigns supreme, surrounded by beauties.In reality, Xu Shulou steals his allies, hoards his treasures, and occasionally beats him up—while he sulks.“My sword saves the world and shields the innocent. It’s not for fighting over men.”“See? Dreams lie. I’m the one holding the Dragon Overlord script.”

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You’re a messenger of god? Here to lead us to a better life? Very well. We’ll give you one day, conquer all of our enemies, make them into sl*ves and bring them back. If you can’t, you’re dead!

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