My Family in the Novel? - Chapter 14: Offering

It’s 2100, and Vincent Carter – Ying – is a twenty-year-old virgin with a penchant for profanity, he has but three guiding principles:“In a world where honour and valour seem like unaffordable luxuries, cowardice remains the pragmatist’s ultimate virtue. Spinelessness isn’t shameful, it’s simply self-preservative romance.”“Doubt is unironically the cheapest superpower a person can have, after all if it’s human, it’s probably plotting something. And if it’s plotting something, it’s probably hiding something. And if it’s hiding something… well, you get the idea. So question everything, one sceptical step at a time.”And lastly,“Muscle heads – because who needs brains when you can just flex your way through life? Couldn’t be me, I’ll tell you that much.”Armed with nothing but these… questionable (?) values, as well as experiences shaped by a hellish life in the slums, Ying dives headfirst into the latest VR sensation – Cultivation Climax, a world brimming with great magic, ancient mysteries, and blood-curdling conspiracies just waiting to be unravelled.However, because Ying’s life is just that kind of special, he is greeted with a rather ‘lovely’ surprise upon opening his eyes to the new world…Ding![Your misfortune is truly astounding!][You have awakened the absolute WORST talent for Cultivation!]‘…’“…W-what?!”Yes, what indeed.

On the will left behind by the 14 year old suicide victim K:

“Taku Sugawara is the devil. Nobody should believe his words.”

First Senior Brother is a hopeless romantic, Second Senior Brother carries a deep-seated blood feud. Third Senior Sister is caught in a love-hate cycle with the Demon Lord across three lifetimes, and Fourth Senior Sister is a femme fatale.The Sect Leader left the sect for love, while the Martial Uncle fell into demonic cultivation for the woman he loved…Neither immortal nor heroic, just handsome men and beautiful women playing house.Only the Little Junior Brother is reliable, upholding the sect while dedicating himself to profound cultivation.The heavens stretch vast and mighty, my Dao shall prosper!With righteousness in his heart, grand ambitions, and the fate of the world as his responsibility—“Disciple Li Xuanxiao, requesting the Sect Leader to die!!”“……”The Empress: “Open your eyes and look at me. I don’t believe your eyes are truly empty.”Li Xuanxiao’s eyes widened like bronze bells.The Empress: “For you, I would rather bury the entire world with me.”Li Xuanxiao backhanded her with a slap: “What did the common people do to you?!”“…….”Blood Demon Patriarch: “Should evil truly deserve death?”Li Xuanxiao: “If you don’t die, then do I have to?! Hurry up and die!!”“……”By chance, he encounters a gravely injured demoness—stunningly beautiful.Li Xuanxiao: “Let’s see if my poison can’t kill you!!”“Take my sword and feel a thousand holes piercing through you!!”“…..”Li Xuanxiao transmigrated one day—no system, no chosen one destiny, only the relentless pursuit of immortality.But the sect is a bit unreliable.First Senior Brother constantly attempts su*cide because of unrequited love.Third Senior Sister brings the Demon Lord right into the sect.His master, stuck in puberty, ran away for love.Little Junior Sister is determined to seduce him.The Empress sees him as her dream lover.

Copywriter:

On the first day of school, Wei Ru Song accidentally fell in front of Xiao Nian’s dick. With his girlfriend witnessing this incident and thinking that he was giving another man a blowjob, this led to a series of misunderstandings.

WRS : I’m not gay I’m not gay I’m not gayyyyyyyyyyyy!

XN : Neither am I.

WRS : Seems like we need to come up with a scheme to clear our names now.

XN : Ok.

So…

Counselor : I saw you and that junior doing it in the grass, *cough*, kiddo, please take note and be a bad influence.

WRS : No we just fell accidentally…

Neighbour : Wei Ru Song can you be quieter in bed? We couldn’t sleep the entire night.

WRS : No that was just Xiao Nian giving me a massage ahh…

Gym Teacher : You guys know what you did in the equipment room, go clean the mats!

WRS : Noooooooo that was just the milk I spilt!!!

Finally,

XN : Senior

WRS : Yeah?

XN : Since they already think we’re gay, why don’t we just let this work itself out.

WRS : … Just what I was thinking.