MTL - Pirates Make Memes: Get Eight Magic Skills at the Beginning - Chapter 187

Mortimer Zhu is an extremely unfortunate high school student who accidentally enrolls into an academy of a dubious nature, where it is the norm to jump in front of moving trains, get dismembered during orientation, and crushed by vindictive bouncing classrooms. Can he stay alive or will he die from the rigors of school? Why have evil spirits suddenly acquired a taste for his flesh?

- Description from Novelupdates

This is a bizarre and mysterious world filled with various sinister cultivation methods. Once a person begins to cultivate, they will either undergo mild changes in appearance and temperament, descend into madness, or become a great elixir for evil beings to consume...Duan Yun, having transmigrated into this world, unexpectedly comes across a supreme elixir cultivation manual, the 'True Explanation of the Jade Sword.'To his surprise, he is a one-in-a-million cultivation genius who, unwittingly, transforms the manual into something extraordinary. Guided by the Jade Sword, he is able to pierce through everything.Later, as his mastery over various methods grows, Duan Yun, carrying the philosophy of 'the enlightened benefit the world,' never keeps secrets and spreads martial arts across the land.Who would have thought...“Duan the Demon misled me! He said this technique enhances yin and yang, but now I can only squat to pee, boo hoo...”“It was the Demon who taught me this 'Seven Parts Returning Qi'. Instead of blessing me, it brought disaster—I either get killed or step in dung. The fortune-teller said I've lost seventy percent of my luck.”“Don't trust a word of what Demon Duan says! The fairy of the Myriad Wonders Palace was supposed to ascend the whole palace to the heavens, but in one night, she was possessed and turned into a demoness, all due to that old demon Duan's handiwork!”...Duan Yun finds this incomprehensible. All he did was practice martial arts, spread techniques, and occasionally emulate the laws of nature, so how did he become notorious as a demon?This is slander!The same techniques cause no issues for me, so the problem lies with you all, not me!

Zhao Yelan was born as a criminal s*ave and was rescued by the Third Prince. After years of painstaking efforts to put him on the throne, Zhao Yelan became a sycophantic minister whom everyone detested, but he was actually given a marriage by that person to general Yan Mingting, the lone star of Tiansha.

The general caused the death of his father, his mother, his wife, and his dog. Everyone hoped that the general would kill Zhao Yelan as soon as possible.

On the wedding night, Zhao Yelan, who was dressed in red, took out a dagger, his eyes sharp: “What do you want?”

Yan Mingting held his hand tightly, and borrowed his dagger to carve a large character on the head of the bed – – Early.

“You’re weak and frail, get up early every day and practice horse stance with me!”

“?”

The common people thought this marriage was truly wonderful!

They heard that this big minister was beaten every day. He had to repair the roof tiles when the house leaked and also work in the kitchen. He served his husband and was very obedient, and from then on, he didn’t dare condemn people.

Hey, the general was truly mighty!

Zhao Yelan sat lazily by the bed, playing with the dagger, and raised the ends of his eyes slightly: “Where did these rumors come from?”

“From my dog’s mouth.” Yan Mingting, who was in horse stance, patted his thigh. “Madam, please take the seat of honor. You don’t have to get up early tomorrow.”

- Description from Novelupdates

The light-hearted love story of a (vampire) zombie and an idiot.