Martial Arts Masochist - Chapter 1: Emei Sect’s Thousand-Year Flower ()

«Bleh.» — Imp. An Imp, a monster known to kill with a grin, a demon of the world, a creature of incredible might! Something that no force in the world can stand against! At least that’s what the Main Character would like himself to be, the reality is very different, however.

Exactly that Imp stumbles along a path of unfortunate fortunes and grows through it, in a world that hates its very existence.

It grows more intelligent, more powerful, simply better at whatever it needs to do. Amongst other things, that includes raising children, killing Soldiers, and carving wooden figurines for money.

Xiang Yi was most famous vase in the entertainment industry.

After three years of struggling in the big city, Chu Zhishui finally managed to save enough money to buy a home. However, she discovered that she was the only human in her new workplace?Chu Zhishui: Are even supernatural creatures seeking stable jobs with iron rice bowls now?–In the office, Chu Zhishui gradually adapted to working at the supernatural bureau. Despite her diligence and dedication, she couldn’t escape the gossip and social niceties of a small town, facing the enthusiastic attention of the matchmaking department head.Supernatural Department Head: “Little Chu, you’re doing so well at work. Have you considered settling down and starting a family? Let me set you up with someone. Do you have any requirements?”Chu Zhishui silently recited the mantra of singlehood in her mind, but not wanting to dampen the mood, she decided to be deliberately demanding: “I don’t ask for much in a partner. Just someone good-looking, filial to my parents, capable of doing housework, and able to earn money to support the family…”The supernatural department head replied readily: “Great, I’ll find someone for you!”Chu Zhishui steeled herself and added with gritted teeth: “…and they must be able to bear children!”Just as she thought the department head would give up, the other party had a sudden realization: “The one in your office can bear children! Why don’t you just admit you like him?”Chu Zhishui: ???–Chu Zhishui: I thought I could slack off at my job in the supernatural bureau, but it turns out that was just wishful thinking.

25-year-old Albion lived an unimpressive parasitic life of a NEET and otaku, leeching off his loving parent's allowances to enjoy watching animes, reading manga and novels at home.When faced with the cruel reality of contracting cancer through smoking, he selfishly ran away from home and sacrificed his life on a strange day of drastic changes.'Since I'm going to die anyway, let me save another life in exchange.'Those were his thoughts before shoving a person out of harm's way and getting struck by a truck.'If I could get a second chance, I want to live a fulfilling life and not waste it like this.'However, Albion's new life resolution was quickly challenged by a stroke of divine providence.“What? I'm not dead yet? Holy cow, I transmigrated into the body of a notorious hidden boss who controls half the world's wealth in an alternate universe after he failed his heavenly tribulation? I never have to worry about money? I can live forever? Lucky me!”Albion thought he had shot to the peak of life, but he could not be more wrong. The immortal body was too strong for a mortal soul like him to control. He can only move for 5 minutes a day!He became immobile and paralyzed for the rest of the time! The Four Horsemen of the Dark Emperor thought he was crippled and turned on him! They couldn't kill him physically due to his invincible body so they dropped him to the bottom of the ocean to drown!His body was immortal. He could not die.Thus, he lived the following life in the dark depths of the ocean before being swallowed into the stomach of a giant sea serpent!Before he could enjoy his new life, he had sunk to the lowest point of his life, literally!However, the world rapidly changed after the notorious True Immortal disappeared for two years! The Apocalypse arrived, and so too, the System!Ding![You have slain a Lv.1 ancient sea serpent. 100 EXP has been gained.][You have leveled up.][You have become a Lv.2 Hunter.][Title acquired: Hunter.]Albion: ???“Did the sea serpent get food poisoning and died from eating me or something?” Albion wondered in the pit of the sea serpent's stomach.[System calibration complete. Goldfinger has been activated.]“Never mind, my time has come! With the system in hand, I will take back everything and rule the w–wait, what? This body's cultivation needs to be sealed in order for me to move freely without impairments?”“Sigh, forget it, ruling the world is too hard. I'm a wanted man anyway. Let's just hide somewhere, watch my animes, and reading my manga and novels…”Albion was nerfed harder than the Big Bang at the beginning of time. However, what's his, will still be his.“Until my soul becomes strong enough to fully wield this power, I'll just treat it as a 5-minute Super Saiyan mode I can enjoy once a day…”He was not the Dark Emperor, but the Dark Emperor was now him. The Four Horsemen that turned on him, their day of retribution will come!Little did Albion know, the world had more things in store for him than his quest for vengeance. The dimensional rifts that appeared everywhere and the interdimensional creatures that spilled forth from there are actually…!Find out on the next episode of drag–Ahem, to be continued.