I Swear I Don't Have A Python In My Pool - Chapter 2

The army drillmaster Yu Xiaoxiao (玉小小) [aka “Little Jade”] transmigrated from a zombie apocalypse world into the body of the eldest imperial princess. On her first day, she got hitched to young General Gu Xinglang (顾星朗) at the lowest point of his life: unjustly accused, imprisoned, and tortured. Ever since then, the valiant girl who only knew how to eat, sleep, and fight zombies tied her destiny with the brave general who was loyal, patriotic, stern, and taciturn.

With the country weak and enemies on all sides, the imperial palace is full of spying concubines, sycophant officials, and a fatuous, self-indulgent ruler. Beyond the court lies the populace suffering in dire poverty. Faced with these circumstances, General Gu only hopes that he can help the imperial court restore its discipline and give peace to the people.

But his wife and princess says, “Your wish is too grand. Let’s go take over the kingdom ourselves instead!”

“…….” General Gu could only remain speechless.

How does one become a royal favored by the annals of history? Yu Xiaoxiao is convinced that a truly good princess is one who dotes on her husband!

So I've been playing this shitty dating game along with my friend. Why is it shitty? Well, none of the damn endings are happy! You're destined to get a sad ending no matter what choices you make.

But for some reason, we couldn't stop ourselves from talking about it or searching for some other ending.

Ah... but I guess it doesn't matter since both of us died saving some random people we never met.

...Wait, why did I reincarnate into the villain of the shitty dating game? And my friend reincarnated as the hero?

Is this... a good thing?

Fuck, Nathan why are you beating yourself up? We need to make a real plan here!

……………………………………………………………

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The Saint: “Bro Yi, Can you make me your servant?

Yi Feng: “What? A Saint like you wants to become my servant. Do you have any shame?

The Saint: “My sister is very beautiful”

Yi Feng (His eyes is glowing): Little Saint, you can follow me from now. All right, remember to tell your sister to come!

The King: “Yi Feng! Your bastard, what are you doing?

Yi Feng: My bad! My bad! My king, I just want to stroll in this harem a little bit. Who knows those girls have been following me like that?

- Description from Novelupdates

Dumbledore always believed Voldemort was the greatest threat to the wizarding world until a thousand-year-old vampire showed up at Hogwarts with the deed in hand—“A thousand years have passed, and Hogwarts' lease is up!” said Dracula. “Headmaster, you wouldn't want your students to be homeless, would you?”“What do you want?” Dumbledore asked gravely.“Anything interesting.”“Well, I think the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts professor is quite interesting!”...And so, Hogwarts gained a professor who couldn’t be dismissed.McGonagall: “Albus, I don't think Professor Dracula's teaching is suitable for the poor children!”Dumbledore: “There's nothing I can do, no one can fire him.”...Draco: “My father is a governor, I'll have him get you fired!”Lucius slapped Draco on the head, “Mr. Dracula, Draco speaks without thinking. Please, don't fire the Board of Governors!”...This is the story of a vampire who lived too long and found amusement in the wizarding world out of sheer boredom.