I Swear I Don't Have A Python In My Pool - Chapter 1558 - The Guards Are Going to Die

Before her reincarnation, Jiang Nanfei, after marrying Huo Beijiang, led a troubled life which included the tragic death of her younger brother, the early loss of her parents, and betrayal from those she trusted the most. After being reborn, she thanked heaven and earth, shamelessly tried to get close to him, stick with him, make him hers.In this life, she wants to clean the dust off her heart and through her own efforts, achieve the life she desires. The beauty of life is not only about the scum man in front of her, or the pure lotus far away, it is also about the family behind her, the friends around her, and the man who loves her dearly.

Living in a world of cultivators is like walking on the edge of a knife. If you slip, the best result is a deep cut, but the likely result is death. Su Fang is brought into this world completely unprepared, knowing nothing, and lacking any skills to help him. This means only one thing. He is destined to die.Fortunately, Su Fang is immortal. Not because he cannot die, but because when he does, he un-dies.In this world, everyone is born with a Golden Finger to help them survive. Su Fang’s blessing is to return to the beginning of his journey after every death. His System provides him credits upon death with which he can purchase absolutely anything, but he is only rewarded enough credits to help him return to the point he died. To advance further, he must rely on himself.This is both a time loop story and a xianxia story. At different points, one element is more pronounced than the other, but it is always a combination of both.This can also be considered a slice-of-life story. It isn’t about saving the world or defeating a big bad guy. It is about living life in an unfamiliar world where it can sometimes seem like everyone is out to kill or enslave you.Expectations:-Detailed cultivation and crafting.-Limited fighting scenes through most of the story.-Slow cultivation progression. Each level will be explored in detail.-Somewhat unreliable narrator. Cultivation affects the mind, and it will affect the MC’s perceptions of the world. Facts can generally be trusted, but many times there are layers beyond what the narrator sees.-Xianxia tropes with a world built around them so they make sense. Why do young masters go crazy shouting “You dare!”? Why do their guards willing throw themselves to their death against someone with significantly higher cultivation? All that and more is explained.-This is a story of cultivation. It has cultivation in the xianxia sense, working to gain strength and power, but, more importantly, it is a story about cultivating the self. Finding ways to make yourself a better version of you.New chapters drop 5 days a week, M-F, at 7:00AM Central Time (US)

After 10,000 years of intense, solitary cultivation inside the Immortal Palace, Ancestor Li Shen finally steps outside —only to realize the world has changed, his sect is broke, and the juniors are clueless.Naturally, he does what any enlightened master would do:He starts throwing spirit stones at the problem.Need cultivation pills? Buy them in bulk.Sect disciples weak? Dump divine weapons on them like party favors.Enemy sects causing trouble? Bribe their ancestors into early retirement.Soon, Li Shen isn’t just revered as the most powerful being alive —he’s the richest, loudest, and most dramatically dressed cultivator to ever walk the continent.With a golden flying palace shaped like a reclining dragon and a pet phoenix that doubles as a chef, Li Shen’s new path to immortality is paved with cash, chaos, and really questionable decision-making.Will he reach true enlightenment?Will the Heavens finally notice him and file a noise complaint?Find out in this completely serious tale of wealth, wisdom, and way too many spirit stones.

Adopted into the Ye Clan, Ye Guan is clueless about who he is and where he comes from. One day, an opportunity comes where he is acquainted with a not-so-little Little Pagoda and was bestowed a sword. Under the guidance of a Great Sword Immortal, Ye Guan is ready to take on the world. But so was his father and grandfather…In a universe with multiple realms, Ye Guan started from a very insignificant clan, in an insignificant state. With his almost god-like sword, follow Ye Guan on his journey as he makes a name for himself and finds out who he truly is. With a refreshingly straightforward personality, you can expect the unexpected when it comes to Ye Guan… For example, he makes it a point to kill his opponents before they can make any dramatic pre-war declarations.

“Ye Guan, today will be your death anniver—” Squelch! And the guy was killed…

MC: Why bother sh*t talking before a fight?

In this fast-paced novel, there’s gonna be a lot of ‘wait what?’ moments, xxx moments and blah blah blah.

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