I Swear I Don't Have A Python In My Pool - Chapter 11

The dimensional rifts link the earth to the Xingwu continent. This is the dawn of the martial arts era!

I will be useless if I don’t practice martial arts? Don’t worry, I have a system that allows me to pick up attributes. When other people drop attributes during their training, I can pick them up secretly.

Huh? Did you just say that beating up people will make them drop attributes too? In that case…

You defeated a sword skill genius. He dropped Enlightenment×2, Sword Talent×1… You’ve picked them up. Your insights have improved and you’ve gained a beginner stage sword talent!

You defeated a blade skill talent. He dropped Blade Battle Technique×1, Malicious Blade Intent×1… You picked them up and learned a rare blade battle technique! You’ve also figured out Malicious Blade Intent and have become extremely fierce!

You defeated a physique talent. He dropped Physique Scripture×1, Holy-Blood Dominant Physique×1…

You picked them up and learned a new top-grade scripture! You are exceptionally lucky to have received the Holy-Blood Dominant Physique. It can change your physique completely and you earned a god-level title 'Endless Health'.

Someone killed a powerful star beast and dropped Spiritual Sight×1 and Blank Attribute×60… You picked them up secretly and receive a spiritual eye talent as well as 60 points to add to any of your current attributes!

You defeat many opponents in your life. You accidentally kill an innocent devil and split the universe into two when you’re practicing your blade at home. You burst the sun with your fist and the world is engulfed in darkness…

That’s when you realize… You’re invincible!

Explore the Universe through the hardest, truest weapon: the Fist.

Jack Rust was a disillusioned biologist with a PhD—almost. When an extraterrestrial AI calling itself the System invaded Earth and thrust it into a world of aliens and violence, the least Jack hoped for was magic. Unfortunately, the System decided to spawn a forest dungeon around him and a goblin in his face, which left him little choice.

Armed with nothing but his fists, Jack must grow strong enough to survive entire menageries of monsters. He needs to return to civilization and find out what the hell is going on. He might also get magic—or not. Surprising himself, Jack discovers that violence is fun.

In this battle-ridden new world, Jack finds the life he always dreamed about. He won’t just survive. He will thrive.

……………………………………………………………

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Lan Xi made a mistake during her interstellar travel and landed on Earth.

As the princess of Planet Moyi, she decided to save herself. First, solve the money problem.

So she took out the “Guide to Conquering Earthlings 2003 Edition” that experts from Planet Moyi had carefully compiled years ago –

“Chapter 1 How to Elegantly Make Money”:

“Beginner’s Guide: Find a high-end building, take a broken bowl, and sit there for a day to elegantly make enough money to spend for one day.”

However, after sitting bitterly for a day, Lan Xi didn’t make a penny and was driven away by security guards –

“Don’t sit here begging, President Xie already criticized us for negligence! Besides, it’s not that era anymore, beggars use QR codes now!”

No problem, there’s still –

“Intermediate Guide: Find a luxury car, pretend to be hit by it, lie on the ground paralyzed, and you can elegantly make enough money to spend for three months.”

However, before Lan Xi could lie down, a driver got out of the car –

“We have dash cams installed! Move away quickly, President Xie is in a hurry. I’ll sue you if you try this scam again!”

This tactic also failed. But no worries, there’s still –

“Ultimate Guide: Find a rich Earthling, conquer him, marry him, and you can elegantly make enough money to spend for a lifetime.”

Very well, might as well go all out and get it done once and for all!

Lan Xi already had a perfect candidate in mind, the boss of the company she begged at on the first day, the owner of the luxury car – Xie Cheng!

Xie Cheng met a strange beautiful woman.

On the first day, she begged at the door of his company;

On the second day, she staged a car accident scam on him;

On the third day, she blocked him in an alley, with a face of great mercy –

“I really like your money, I hope it becomes mine.”

“So I’ve decided to marry you.”

She coughed –

“Are you going to voluntarily be conquered by me, or be forcibly conquered by me?”

[Story background is Earth in 2023 AD]

“Gege, what does cultivating feelings mean?? Is kissing when you eat someone’s mouth?? How are children born??” The 3-year-old Xiao Tu likes to chase after her ChangZhi gege and ask questions…

Ten years old Cheng Zhiyan had always seemed been studious and hardworking. However, when he heard these three questions, he was stunned and fled in an instant… until one day, a certain thirteen-year-old Xiao Tu pressed Cheng Zhiyan to the wall and kissed him. Then she smacked her lips to savor the taste and said: “It turns out that when you kiss orange juice, it really taste like orange juice ah…” the always calm and indifferent Cheng ZhiYan, once again fled in defeat.

**TN: ChengZhi Yan’s name sounds like orange juice

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