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... do you guys normally tease your boyfriends through text messages?”. The answers in the thread were hilarious to say the least.

Coincidentally, I had just changed my mobile number that day. As such, I sent Mr. F an anonymous message: “Hey Big Boss, do you need any special services?”

He didn’t reply.

I persevered in my efforts, sending him yet another text message: “Little lonely wild cat has a fiery and burning passion, and will be delivered to your doorstep. Satisfaction ...

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“We could be louder,” he whispered in a raspy voice. She shook with need and was about to turn when he clucked his tongue. “Ah, ah, ah, don't do that. I'll see you later, little girl.” And with that, he vanished.

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