I Can’t Be Sword God - Chapter 84

Guys here is my pitch.....In the sprawling world of fantasy, we’ve often been treated to tales of heroes reincarnated with divine blessings, legendary powers, or cheat-like abilities, thrust into magical lands as shining saviors—or chaotic terrors. But what happens when the very concept of reincarnation becomes a curse? When the divine boon is a big fat joke, and the “cheat system” doesn’t quite… cheat?Enter John, the unluckiest reincarnate. Blessed by a god and thrust into a fantasy world, he dreams of glory, power, and adventure—only to wake up as a normal, utterly powerless bird. Not a mythical phoenix, not an ancient thunder eagle. Just… a bird.To make matters worse, this world is no ordinary realm. It's a land scarred by the devastating legacies of past isekai’d heroes and villains, whose reckless exploits piled skeletons into mountains and turned their cheats into harbingers of chaos. Fed up with these unruly intruders, the ancients of the realm banded together to create a world-shaking seal: all reincarnated souls are trapped in the bodies of harmless animals, confined to isolated sanctuaries that function more like fantasy zoos.Here’s the twist: this isn’t mercy. It’s a resource grab. The powerful beast tamers of this realm have turned these reincarnated souls into exotic pets, prized for their cheat-like potential.John finds himself at the bottom of the food chain in every sense. His cheat doesn’t work. His human form is gone. And his world is filled with predatory cultivators who see him as either a snack or a tool.But John isn’t one to give up so easily. What starts as despair quickly turns into cunning survival. With wings and wit as his only tools, John must navigate layers of misfortune, dodge fate’s sharp talons, and cheat his way through a world determined to keep him grounded.Get ready to join John on a wildly unconventional journey—one where reincarnation isn’t a ticket to greatness, but a death sentence he’s determined to rewrite. His story is one of humor, wit, and persistence, as he explores a world where he is the joke and his survival is the punchline.Main tags: reincarnation/isekai, beast taming cultivation system, comedy, action, adventure.Of course No-harem!

Throughout this current life of mine, I will pay no attention to my past lives, nor will I seek future lives. I wish to live vigorously, to pay back debt of gratitude and fulfill duty to avenge, to defeat valiant heroes from all species, and to proudly laugh at all the Gods and Demons of the Six Path of Reincarnation!

- Description from Novelupdates

As the leader of bandits, Yan Jinyi has been a bully for twenty years, and she ended up causing her own death. The next thing she knows, she wakes up and finds that she has become the Second Young Mistress of the Huo Family. Wielding her knife, Yan Jinyi starts to throw her weight around conceitedly again. Young Master Huo says, “If I’m still single, I’ll probably marry my sister-in-law.” Third Young Master Huo says, “If I could turn back time, I would have vied with my brother to marry my second sister-in-law. Miss Huo says, “If I were a man, my second sister-in-law would be my woman!” A CEO says, “I thought I was roguish enough, but I didn’t expect Yan Jinyi to be more of a hooligan than I am!” The Best Actor says, “Huo Xishen, why are you still not divorced?” Second Young Master Huo points to Yan Jinyi and says, “She is mine.” Rumor has it that the second daughter-in-law of the Huo Family can beat a home wrecker up and is especially good at making money. Countless bigwigs are lining up to make a cuckold of Huo Xishen.