I Beg You All, Please Shut Up - Chapter 50: Knew How To Have Fun

“If Gao ○○ and Zhen Jingwen both confessed to you at the same time, who would you choose? Heheheh, it’s so hard to choose! Can I just have both?!”

“What do I do if my GF likes BL? Shit! What’re girls reading all that stuff for? They should get married and have kids while they’re still young.”

“How would you guys rate my sister? Let me see…She looks pretty good. Old rules, 10 if she’s up to f*ck, 0 if she’s not, hahaha.”

“Disgusting homosexuals spreading Aids, perverted fujoshis are cancer of society!”

Not only did college student Xia Chuan have stage II advanced straight male cancer, he even had severe homophobia, much less being able to stand the existence of fujoshis. But then, he suddenly met with the greatest crisis of his life—

After waking up, he actually grew an organ only a girl would have between his perineum!

Was this not a dream?

Impossible…

Xia Chuan couldn’t stop his brain from recalling an ancient post on Baidu:

What if you turned into a girl one day?

—First, show your brothers a good time!

De! Fi! Nite! Ly! Not!!!! Xia Chuan pulled up his pants with gritted teeth and swore to defend his virginity to the death.

- Description from Novelupdates

Jiang Dao died extremely heroically in the apocalyptic world war. He never thought that he would have a chance to open his eyes again.

He traveled through, into a danmei book he had read, and became a vicious villain in the book.

Jiang Dao thought to himself: “After more than ten years of fighting for my life in the last days, I’m tired, so what am I fighting for? It’s better to be a vase. Use my face to finish the brokerage contract, and then find a corner in the world with beautiful scenery and live a peaceful life of growing vegetables, cooking, and raising cats and dogs…”

So, he returned the role that the original owner had snatched from the protagonist shou on the spot.

Unexpectedly, in the variety show that started shooting the next day, Jiang Dao performed a shoulder toss and threw the current number one kung fu actor, Chu Yinlong, to the ground.

Chu Yinlong: Boy, you have successfully caught my attention. My new movie, the villain, can fight, you come.

Jiang Dao: …Sorry, I’m just a vase.

————

In a later interview.

A reporter asked Chu Yinlong: “How would you rate your perfect partner, Mr. Jiang Dao?”

Chu Yinlong replied: “A vase.”

Reporter: “How can a kung fu superstar as famous as him be a vase?”

Chu Yinlong: “Diamond vase. Precious, beautiful, hard enough.”

- Description from Novelupdates

He was once a presence in the assassin world that made people tremble at the mere mention, and had retired from the assassin world for many years to live in the mountains with his master, teasing nuns and practicing martial arts every day, leading a leisurely life, having washed away all traces of his murderous aura.However, when the old man asked him to come down the mountain to protect a woman, it gradually tore away the mysterious layers of Ye Qiu's demeanor.His skills were extraordinary, and he possessed a long-lost technique of acupuncture.He was both righteous and evil, attracting countless beauties to fall in love with him.What was even more mysterious was that he had a pair of “Supernatural Insight Eyes,” seeing through everything.

A wedding took place, and the richest man of Shencheng married a woman notorious for her bad reputation.Ning Guiwan was known among the upper class as a calamity—tormenting her sisters, causing her mother's death, leading an unseemly private life, despised by her father, and cast abroad to fend for herself.Four years later, she returned and directly took hold of Shencheng's most esteemed man's arm to enter into marriage, leaving the whole city in shock.However, amidst the doubts, Ning Guiwan presented a post-marriage agreement to Quan Yu, with the last clause reading: beyond cooperation, there shall be no involvement with each other.Quan Yu pinched the girl's waist, his lips curving into a smile, “You start the game, but I decide how to play it.”……Everyone said that Ning Guiwan, relying on the favor of the Quan Family's old matriarch, forced Quan Yu to marry her; otherwise, how could a man with such sound principles fancy a woman not only beneath his station but also with a scandalous past?But those who knew the truth shook their heads. Sound principles? Nonexistent. To get his wife, Mr. Quan resorted to all kinds of dirty tricks, even deceiving the old matriarch, yet Mrs. Quan, with her cold exterior and hard heart, married him but refused to love him.Until one day, Mr. Quan accidentally got injured, causing Mrs. Quan to frown.Then—“It's terrible, Mrs. Quan, the master has injured his arm, please come back and see him!”“It's terrible, Mrs. Quan, the master has injured his leg, please come back and see him!”“It's terrible, Mrs. Quan, the master...”“What happened again?”“The master says he's sick, please come back and see him!”“What sickness?”“The master says it's... lovesickness...”“……”[A pampering story, sweet to the extreme]