I Beg You All, Please Shut Up - Chapter 50: Knew How To Have Fun

I, Am a Living Yama; Empress Advises Me to Stay CalmYang Yi crossed over and unexpectedly awakened the Poison Expert System.Empress: “The enemy country has already been destroyed, and there is only a seven-year-old child left in the palace. We are hesitating, what shall we do?”Yang Yi: “Your Majesty, I believe that since this child dared to expose herself, there must be someone hiding. First, pretend to spare her, and then secretly return to see if she has any younger brothers or sisters hidden in the secret passageways. ‘Take care’ of all of them(Kill), and then make a grave for them and pretend to mourn for three years. If anyone comes to pay their respects, they must be her accomplices, and we can eliminate them all!”Crowd: “???”Is this guy a Living Yama alive!???Empress: “You were supposed to provide disaster relief, but you’re adding sand to the porridge? Are you the Living Yama?”Yang Yi: “Let’s see if it works to save refugees, Your Majesty.”Empress: “Now there are rumors out there that the reason I remain single is because I like women. How should we deal with this damage to my reputation?”Yang Yi: “Your Majesty’s reputation is of the utmost importance. As a strategist, I’ll sacrifice myself and imp**gnate you, and the rumors will naturally dissipate!”Empress: “Then get rid of those vixens, you scoundrel!”

For a million worth of contract, she became a surrogate mother.

He was the chief executive of the Empire and she was of lowly birth. With her adoptive father’s business falling into crisis, she agrees to his contract.

She gave birth to twins: the older brother is healthy, while the younger brother didn’t breathe out. Fulfilling the contract with a huge monetary sum as the reward, she disappeared from his eyes.

Six years later – he was still the cold high-profile president, but when she is accidentally imprisoned in the cage of his golden birds he pressured her harder and harder: “Woman, do not think you can escape my hands!”

The old-fashioned man: “Mu Yazhe, you’d better leave her alone, this is the child’s mother!” The man becomes frightened, questioning the reason this child’s features bears such resemblance to…

- Description from Novelupdates

Other people’s Alliance Heads are unrivaled in the lands, with an incomparable domineering air. With a shake of their arm they could cause a thousand waves to ripple throughout Jianghu.Tang Doudou practically wants to flip the table!Cook, warm the bed, warm the bed, cook… She’s completely been caught up in a goddamned cycle!After she finishes she still has to ask a phrase of husband-sama are you pleased?Uncle could endure but Auntie can’t endure!“Wife has worked hard. A moment in the spring night is worth a thousand pounds of gold, when we get home this husband will give you a massage!” This demonically charming black-bellied man’s phoenix eyes flashed as he smiled with a completely harmless expression.Tang Doudou looked to the sky speechless, …

Jiang Dao died extremely heroically in the apocalyptic world war. He never thought that he would have a chance to open his eyes again.

He traveled through, into a danmei book he had read, and became a vicious villain in the book.

Jiang Dao thought to himself: “After more than ten years of fighting for my life in the last days, I’m tired, so what am I fighting for? It’s better to be a vase. Use my face to finish the brokerage contract, and then find a corner in the world with beautiful scenery and live a peaceful life of growing vegetables, cooking, and raising cats and dogs…”

So, he returned the role that the original owner had snatched from the protagonist shou on the spot.

Unexpectedly, in the variety show that started shooting the next day, Jiang Dao performed a shoulder toss and threw the current number one kung fu actor, Chu Yinlong, to the ground.

Chu Yinlong: Boy, you have successfully caught my attention. My new movie, the villain, can fight, you come.

Jiang Dao: …Sorry, I’m just a vase.

————

In a later interview.

A reporter asked Chu Yinlong: “How would you rate your perfect partner, Mr. Jiang Dao?”

Chu Yinlong replied: “A vase.”

Reporter: “How can a kung fu superstar as famous as him be a vase?”

Chu Yinlong: “Diamond vase. Precious, beautiful, hard enough.”

- Description from Novelupdates