Heidi and the Lord - Chapter 84

“F**K! I'm dead!”That was the first word I muttered after regaining my memories from Earth.Reincarnating into a world of cultivation should’ve been a blessing. Adventure, immortality, power—what’s not to love?But then I remembered what my family did.My sister just broke off an engagement with a crippled young master—definitely a future protagonist.My mother ripped a Dao Bone from my cousin and gave it to me—guaranteed future revenge arc.And me? I’m already a third-rate villain: bullying weaklings and flaunting my Bai Clan name.Worst part? Despite the Dao Bone, I’m still trash at cultivation.My only hope?The System... which I’ve had for years.“I just never realized... It was in English!”

Copywriter:

On the first day of school, Wei Ru Song accidentally fell in front of Xiao Nian’s dick. With his girlfriend witnessing this incident and thinking that he was giving another man a blowjob, this led to a series of misunderstandings.

WRS : I’m not gay I’m not gay I’m not gayyyyyyyyyyyy!

XN : Neither am I.

WRS : Seems like we need to come up with a scheme to clear our names now.

XN : Ok.

So…

Counselor : I saw you and that junior doing it in the grass, *cough*, kiddo, please take note and be a bad influence.

WRS : No we just fell accidentally…

Neighbour : Wei Ru Song can you be quieter in bed? We couldn’t sleep the entire night.

WRS : No that was just Xiao Nian giving me a massage ahh…

Gym Teacher : You guys know what you did in the equipment room, go clean the mats!

WRS : Noooooooo that was just the milk I spilt!!!

Finally,

XN : Senior

WRS : Yeah?

XN : Since they already think we’re gay, why don’t we just let this work itself out.

WRS : … Just what I was thinking.

Caelen died doing what he loved most: playing survival games non-stop like a sleep-deprived goblin. Unfortunately, dying in your chair from gaming overload isn’t exactly what you’d call a dignified exit. Even God laughed at him.But lucky for Caelen, or maybe unlucky, he gets a second chance in the world of his favorite survival game. It’s a brutal fantasy realm full of monsters, magic, swords… and absolutely zero indoor plumbing.Armed with only a stone pickaxe, a limited-use “Google Brain” search skill, and the stubbornness of a man who once built a Minecraft mansion out of dirt, Caelen sets out to survive. But surviving isn’t enough he wants to upgrade the world. Electricity? Toilets? Toasted bread? Why not all three?As he fends off nighttime horrors, awkwardly crafts furniture, and tries to avoid becoming monster chow, Caelen has one mission: bring modern convenience to a medieval world, one ridiculous invention at a time.And maybe, just maybe… not die again in a chair.[System Notes:No Ntr, No Yuri(gl), No Yaoi(bl)]

Bai Jin is reborn before the sanctification of the Three Pure Ones and is taken as a disciple by Tongtian. In a strong sense of crisis, Bai Jin embarks on his path of survival, currying favor with his elders, making powerful connections, subtly influencing the grand scheme of the ancient cosmos, and building a network of relationships to protect himself. In the process, Bai Jin also earns numerous accolades.Tai Shang: “Bai Jin possesses great wisdom!”Yuan Shi: “Among Tongtian's disciples, only Bai Jin is worth noticing.”Tongtian: “It's Bai Jin who understands me the best.”Zhun Ti: “When Bai Jin becomes shameless, this poor monk willingly admits defeat!”Duo Bao Rulai: “Bai Jin is a despicable, shameless, treacherous villain.”The Jade Emperor: “There is no one more loyal and righteous than my nephew, Bai Jin.”