Everyone Else is a Returnee - Chapter 358: Apocrypha (5)

“They Call Guys Like Me a Simp.”(Meanwhile, I’m out here living what their favorite MC only dreams about.)You ever notice how stories glorify the ones who feel nothing?The MC who never laughs.Never feels.Who plays women like chess pieces and calls it intelligence.He manipulates a girl? “He’s strategic.”He never opens up? “He’s mysterious.”He never flinches, never laughs, never lives —And you call that strength?Funny.Because to me?That’s just a prison in disguise.You see an “alpha.”I see a boy too scared to feel anything real.While they spend ten chapters monologuing about logic and sacrifice,I’m already making the Saintess scream,drenched in sin,halo cracked,legs trembling from truths her prayers never taught her.And I didn’t get there with cold eyes or control.I got there with laughter and chill. With warmth. With a grin and a hand on her thigh.I didn’t need to dominate her mind —I freed her heart.But that scares people, doesn’t it?Because readers trust the ones who suffer.Who stay quiet.Who kill without blinking and love without showing it.But me?I flirt.I laugh.I take hits and smile back, bloody and defiant, as if too weak to get angry.I don’t need to pretend emotions are weakness.I weaponize mine.Pleasure. Connection. Laughter.That’s my arsenal.And while your favorite MC is still calculating his next five moves,Trying to outwit death and romance like both are math problems,I’m already balls deep in the jade fairy — her sacred yin furnace clenching like it’s worshipping my shaft, her Dao Echo shattered into breathless moans, and her so-called cultivation path leaking down her thighs while she begs me to break her meridians again.You call that luck?Nah.That’s mastery of the three worlds.Because in a world that respects coldness,I came in hot.Where others manipulate, I connect.Where they posture, I play.Where they sacrifice, I seduce.So go ahead.Call me a simp.But while your genius MC is busy monologuing about destiny,I’m the one making goddesses question theirs —with a smirk, a touch, and no regrets.I’m not the hero.Not the villain.I’m just a simp… the kind who leaves your cold, emotionless MC’s woman dripping, ruined, and too stretched to go back to him.

The spacious cafe was strangely silent as Ruan Shishi hung her head while nervously stirring the coffee in front of her.

The atmosphere was rather awkward and strained for a while.

Half a minute after he sat down, the man asked flatly, “Is this your first blind date?”

His aura was so overbearing that a simple question from him made Ruan Shishi even more nervous

[Love After Marriage + Nausea and Vomiting of Pregnancy (NVP) + Flash Marriage + Sweet Pampering]A calm and self-possessed business tycoon vs. a highly intelligent, pitiful medical studentLuna Axton, for whom even a twenty-yuan milk tea was a luxury, never expected that one day she would get pregnant and marry into a wealthy family!On the first day of their marriage, he said, “We are just using each other for mutual benefit. Don't expect anything more.”On the Nth day of their marriage, he said, “Wifey, please give me a kiss. I'll take care of the baby, I'll wash the diapers! In my eyes and heart, there's only you and our little one.”Before marriage, she couldn't even afford a cup of milk tea; after marriage, the tycoon's whole family takes turns pampering her! Not only was her mother, whose life was hanging by a thread, cured, but even during childbirth, a master of traditional Chinese medicine begged to take her pulse!Some people mocked her for climbing the ladder through improper means, for her humble origins, and for being foolish and dull.Blaze Fairchild: “I proposed the marriage, I chose my wife. Don't you know I'm the one who got the better deal?”A certain ambassador plenipotentiary: “Luna Axton is my beloved daughter, born with top-tier specs in every way!”As she secretly marveled at how lucky she was, the aloof President Fairchild wrapped his arms around her waist and coaxed softly, “It's not that you're lucky. Meeting you has used up all of my luck.”