Everyone Else is a Returnee - Chapter 153: If I Open It, It’s The Gate To Hell – 1

Romance Carnival 1st Prize. BEWARE THE FURY OF A PATIENT WOMAN. Rosalind Lux died after learning of her husband and sister’s betrayal. And just as she thought she finally found peace, she woke up forty years before her death. With memories from her past life intact, Rosalind vowed revenge. Her plans quickly brought her into the arms of a Duke whose enticing gaze contained mysteries that threatened not just her plans but her heart and body. …. BEWARE THE LOVE OF A CURSED MAN. Punished by the Goddess for his greed, Lucas Benjamen Rothley had been guarding the North for as long as he could remember. For hundreds of years, no woman has ever stirred his heart. That was until the fearsome Rosalind Lux stumbled into his life. Soon, he realized Rosalind wasn’t quite the damsel that she liked everyone to believe. She is hiding a secret so dark it could either end his curse or throw his life amiss.

Amamiya Hiroto is unlucky. His life consisted of misfortune after misfortune, culminating in an unlucky death during an incident on a school boat trip, trying to save a girl he barely knew. After death, he met a god of reincarnation who requested that the hundred or so dead passengers—one of them being the girl he tried in vain to save—be reincarnated into another world.

I found myself in a parallel universe, awakening as a male priest. Everything seemed perfect; after all, as a healer, specializing in aiding women should pose no issue, right? However, I couldn’t help but wonder about some peculiar spells in my repertoire.

Firstly, what in the world is the “Instantaneous Outbreak of Acute Gastroenteritis” spell? And don’t even get me started on the “Osteoporosis” spell. What purpose could these serve in my healing endeavors? The confusion only deepened with spells like “Blood Burn,” “Gradual Freeze,” and “Mental Chaos.” Can I still peacefully focus on healing women with such ominous abilities?

Comparing my spells to those of other professions, I couldn’t help but notice the stark contrast. Mages wield “Doomstorm” and “Ice Age,” swordsmen boast “Sword Rain: Homecoming” and “Wind-Cutter Slash,” while archers showcase “Arrow Rain: Shooting Stars” and “Storm Arrow.” Yet, my ultimate spells are disturbingly named “Cancer Cell Proliferation,” “T-Virus Infection,” and “Rabies Outbreak.”

In the midst of it all, a certain character, some crying girl, laments, “Noooo, I just took a bath, who would have thought that I would become infected!”

Meanwhile, a villain chillingly asks, “Do any of you know what it feels like to burst apart while spouting blood? No! You don’t know!”

Even a boss character confesses, “Dear family, who can understand? I just took a nap, and when I woke up, I suddenly found that I have no kidneys!”

One moment I was a grown man—an engineer with a decent job and way too many spreadsheets. The next? I woke up in a kid’s bed, staring at glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling… in Malibu.Turns out, I’m Jake Harper now. Yeah, that Jake Harper.“Wait… I had a bitchy mom and a simp dad?”Yeah, the behaviors don’t make sense — just roll with itYeah, the years don’t match — just roll with itpatreon.com/MHJunior(I am not the owner of any show, credits to their respective creators)