Don't Provoke the Turtle - Chapter 029Vol.1 - – Divine Beast

“They Call Guys Like Me a Simp.”(Meanwhile, I’m out here living what their favorite MC only dreams about.)You ever notice how stories glorify the ones who feel nothing?The MC who never laughs.Never feels.Who plays women like chess pieces and calls it intelligence.He manipulates a girl? “He’s strategic.”He never opens up? “He’s mysterious.”He never flinches, never laughs, never lives —And you call that strength?Funny.Because to me?That’s just a prison in disguise.You see an “alpha.”I see a boy too scared to feel anything real.While they spend ten chapters monologuing about logic and sacrifice,I’m already making the Saintess scream,drenched in sin,halo cracked,legs trembling from truths her prayers never taught her.And I didn’t get there with cold eyes or control.I got there with laughter and chill. With warmth. With a grin and a hand on her thigh.I didn’t need to dominate her mind —I freed her heart.But that scares people, doesn’t it?Because readers trust the ones who suffer.Who stay quiet.Who kill without blinking and love without showing it.But me?I flirt.I laugh.I take hits and smile back, bloody and defiant, as if too weak to get angry.I don’t need to pretend emotions are weakness.I weaponize mine.Pleasure. Connection. Laughter.That’s my arsenal.And while your favorite MC is still calculating his next five moves,Trying to outwit death and romance like both are math problems,I’m already balls deep in the jade fairy — her sacred yin furnace clenching like it’s worshipping my shaft, her Dao Echo shattered into breathless moans, and her so-called cultivation path leaking down her thighs while she begs me to break her meridians again.You call that luck?Nah.That’s mastery of the three worlds.Because in a world that respects coldness,I came in hot.Where others manipulate, I connect.Where they posture, I play.Where they sacrifice, I seduce.So go ahead.Call me a simp.But while your genius MC is busy monologuing about destiny,I’m the one making goddesses question theirs —with a smirk, a touch, and no regrets.I’m not the hero.Not the villain.I’m just a simp… the kind who leaves your cold, emotionless MC’s woman dripping, ruined, and too stretched to go back to him.

Shen Roujia, a completely despicable top-level “green tea,” suddenly found herself inside a book on the very day she secured her inheritance rights. However, karma caught up with her. Not only did she have to start over, but she also didn’t become a stunningly beautiful female lead or a charming second female lead. Instead, she became a short-lived, pitiful memory in the male lead’s past, with only one line left in her story!Determined to return to her original life as soon as possible, Shen Roujia pretended to be pitiful and started her long wait for death. But… was her progress bar stuck? Why wasn’t she dying already?!Moreover, what was wrong with this male lead? Instead of focusing on his career, why was he always hanging around her?Male Lead: “To repay your life-saving grace, I will marry you!”Antagonist: “Woman, you have successfully caught my attention.”Prime Minister: “Jiaojiao, have you forgotten our promise?”Shen Roujia was speechless: “…”“You mediocre people better not hinder my grand plan to return home!!”Until one day, the Crown Prince stood by the lake for the Nth time, holding a su*cide note, his eyes naturally reddening as he looked up.“I don’t want to delay you.”Shen Roujia immediately dropped everything she was doing and rushed over in a panic, “No… if you die, at least give me the divorce papers first!”

“Heaven's Taboo Doggy Technique”Living his life as a cripple, Xuan never expected anything good in his life; however, the day he discovered a secret library in his sect, he was able to walk into a parallel world.A different world, a modern world of cultivators and his world.The library of taboo techniques awaits Xuan again: the milking technique, doggy technique, dual technique, or sword art technique—every technique in one library.He can now use every technique to boost his cultivation above the gods themselves. Goddesses want his immortal white juice, mothers want his body renew techniques, step-siblings want his meat raw. Xuan's body was the pinnacle of taboo in both worlds.The fucker of mothers, stripper of daughters, and the founder of all techniques—it was only a matter of time.

Nine Tribulation Immortal Emperor, reborn in the city!One Earth, one Immortal Realm, the difference is as vast as that between heaven and earth!