Book Of The Dead - Chapter B5: Going to the Rifts

If life could repeat itself, what would you do?Would you repeat your first life and stay a normal average joe? Perhaps your gaze will betray the life you’ve already lived, but you remain insignificant and unknown, stretching your neck up high to watch the furling clouds roll by?Or will you make the world your stage, stir up every cloud and wind under all the heavens, making the entire world your captive audience as you dance, making people’s hearts pound with your every move?Composing my own laws, establishing the order I desire…a human life is a measly ten decades, so why don’t I light the candle that is my life and set this world ablaze!!

The next day.“I’ve stressed this time and again—I’m responsible for making the ethos of the cultivation world off-kilter! History is written by the victors, and I’ve triumphed!” Sword Immortal Lu Yang expressed his ire during a press interview.—Brought to you by The Cultivation Times.(Translated by Rakumon)It is the first day of the twelfth month of the year—a suitable day for the launch of this novel (I hope… :3) I am Rakumon, the translator of Who Let Him Cultivate?! This novel is known for its refreshing humor and imaginative ideas in the Chinese community. If you like a witty protagonist, interesting side characters, a mystery plot in the background, and plenty of comedy, do read on and be a part of Lu Yang’s journey! I have previously worked on Consort of a Thousand Faces and Transmigration: Of Mysteries And Songs on Volare. It will be my first time translating a novel from this genre, and it definitely doesn’t help that this novel is heavy with jokes, puns, wordplay, memes, poems, cultural references—you name it. Nonetheless, I will try my best to bring them across to all of you, and please also feel free to share your comments!

Travel through the world of martial arts, get a god-level kidnapping system, and vow to be the number one kidnapper in the universe.

As long as you don’t want to tie it, there is nothing you can’t tie!

Guo Jing, your daughter has been kidnapped by Lao Tzu. If you don’t want me to do anything to her, you can exchange it with Jiuyin Zhenjing and Eighteen Palms of Subduing Dragon!

What, so obedient?

Then I’ll give you a grandson for free.

…………

Yang Guo, your aunt was kidnapped by Lao Tzu. If she knew the face, she would have cut up her own little penis!

What? Yin Zhiping, do you want to cut too?

Well, I will send you a dragon-slaying knife, cut iron like mud, and guarantee that there will be no pain!

…………

Duan Zhengchun, your wife and daughter have been tied up by Lao Tzu, hurry up and hand over all the martial arts secrets of Yi Yang Finger, Six Meridian Divine Sword, etc., and then kill yourself!

What? Want to have sex with your wives again before you die?

Fuck you, they have been scolded by Lao Tzu “Japanese…

- Description from novelbuddy

what did you say?
Your mobile phone eight-core processor? 6G running memory? 256G storage? One and a half hours full of electricity?
Very great?
Our mobile phone 16-core processor, 12G running memory, 1T storage, can be fully charged in just 10 minutes!
what did you say?
Your charging treasure 30,000 mAh capacity? Two-way fast charge?
Sorry, our charging treasure has a capacity of 100,000 mAh. As for the two-way fast charging technology… Our 10,000 mAh mobile phone can be fully charged in just ten minutes. Can you tell me two-way fast charging technology?
what did you say? Our products are defective?
Come here! Come over and try, let you see how to kill you in minutes!
Super electronics, super cars, super buildings…
Since Lin Yun acquired the universe trading system, various industries began to get a strong impact…
Money is just a trail, and force is fundamental!
You said that Lin Yun’s goal is to dominate the earth?
Do not! Do not! Do not! You are wrong, his goal is the sea of stars

- Description from uukanshu (translated)