Black Tortoise God of War - Chapter 1

By the time I reached thirty, I hadn't managed to provide any of the happiness I wanted for my wife.I also still couldn't become the support my parents relied on.At this turning point in my fate, my income suddenly began to increase randomly.(A daily life tale in a wealthy family setting, featuring a single female lead and no harem.)

The MC entered the body of the An family eldest son, An Ziran, an arrogant 16 years old boy who weighed 78 kg (~171-172 lbs), who only knew how to eat, play and sleep. Seeing his current body, An Ziran decided his first priority was to LOSE WEIGHT!

Chen Xi was a jinx who radiated misfortune the way a torch radiated light, and everyone around him knew it. His entire clan was annihilated when he was young, and not too long after that his parents disappeared. His marriage contract? Poof. Torn to shreds and gone up in smoke before the eyes of everyone in the city, almost humiliating his grandfather to the point of suicide! Cultivation? No time for that, he had a family to take care of!

This is the story of Chen Xi, a youth forced to stop cultivating and instead craft talismans to pay for his younger brother’s tuition… and who, in the process, would rise to become known by all as the Talisman Emperor!

I found myself in a parallel universe, awakening as a male priest. Everything seemed perfect; after all, as a healer, specializing in aiding women should pose no issue, right? However, I couldn’t help but wonder about some peculiar spells in my repertoire.

Firstly, what in the world is the “Instantaneous Outbreak of Acute Gastroenteritis” spell? And don’t even get me started on the “Osteoporosis” spell. What purpose could these serve in my healing endeavors? The confusion only deepened with spells like “Blood Burn,” “Gradual Freeze,” and “Mental Chaos.” Can I still peacefully focus on healing women with such ominous abilities?

Comparing my spells to those of other professions, I couldn’t help but notice the stark contrast. Mages wield “Doomstorm” and “Ice Age,” swordsmen boast “Sword Rain: Homecoming” and “Wind-Cutter Slash,” while archers showcase “Arrow Rain: Shooting Stars” and “Storm Arrow.” Yet, my ultimate spells are disturbingly named “Cancer Cell Proliferation,” “T-Virus Infection,” and “Rabies Outbreak.”

In the midst of it all, a certain character, some crying girl, laments, “Noooo, I just took a bath, who would have thought that I would become infected!”

Meanwhile, a villain chillingly asks, “Do any of you know what it feels like to burst apart while spouting blood? No! You don’t know!”

Even a boss character confesses, “Dear family, who can understand? I just took a nap, and when I woke up, I suddenly found that I have no kidneys!”