Adventures Of A Goblin - Chapter 34 Torture

Bro!

You wouldn’t believe this!

Everything was normal. Me and my bros doing some mining for mana gems for that old sockethole, Somanda like we always do all day, everyday.

Me, Fractures, Bonet, Mono-socket, Broadbone and the gang.

Then from nowhere, that ungrateful sockethole, Somanda tries to END me! Can you believe that?!

I mean, I have told some questionable stories about him caressing my skull affectionately and deeming me his prized undead, but no need to axe a skeleton for something like that, right?

RIGHT?!

I managed to escape through one of the most convenient and contrived get-aways in all of undead history, even managing to pull a bony one on the Lich bastard by stealing two of his seemingly important possessions which I find out later to be better than I thought they’d be!

From there it’s a just a SPIRAL of boneshit left and right! I can’t catch a break! What’s with this atrocious luck, bro?!

A voice speaks to me about how I have qualified for something about a something that’s supposedly something’s something!

Then I find myself in a new world that reeks of life and gives my bones a disgusted rattle.

Powerful beasts and men are at every turn, all lining up to be a huge pain in my PELVIS!

GAAAAH!

Jeez this is happening too fast!

However, even while I’m in the thick of this, the one saving grace is that I got something worth while!

A new path of power!

I can NOT be an undead!

I can be something better than both the Living and the Dead!

Immune to the antics from both sides. Well... most of them!

I’m no longer on the path for Undeath!

Only Lifelessness awaits me!

I’m the one who transcends reality in this tale!

I am... SKULLIUS!

And I’m not an UNDEAD!

.......

[Sneek Peek]

“What kind of skills are these? What can I do with them? They better not be worthless VOW Bro!”

[Please refrain from calling me- you know what, whatever! Scroll down to access the actual descriptions about the skills].

Um ok.

Click.

~~~

[ Supreme Skill ]

[ Flesh It Like You Mean It | Lv. 1 ]

Tired of looking dead? Are your eyes hollow? Do you need to smile and show off something other than bones? Call on the power of cosmetic flesh and get a body that's to your liking (not really).

----

[ Supreme Skill ]

[ Lifeless Evolution ]

Tired of the same old undead evolutions? Is being undead not trendy anymore? Is your Lich a sockethole who doesn’t admire your efforts? Well then, try the Lifeless Evolution Package. For strong, unorthodox and peculiar evolutions that will knock your skull off.

-IfyouareseeingthisinyourGuidancefielditmeansthatthisskillisboundtoyouandisnon-refundable-

~~~

I’m going to regret this right?

......

When a person dies, they either die light as a feather (aka unimportant) or heavy as Mt. Tai (aka very important).

Reach the peak of immortal cultivation and become able to run amok without fear! Use the power of martial arts to rule the world and defeat heroes! The weather changes at the whim and wave of a palm. He who cultivates both immortal techniques and martial arts, who could possibly defeat him! Xiao Chen is a shut-in who purchased a ‘Compendium of Cultivation’. Soon after, he crossed over into the Tianwu World, a world ruled by martial arts. He then refined pills, drew talismans, practiced formations, crafted weapons and cultivated the Azure Dragon Martial Soul that had not been seen for thousands of years. This is a story that tells of an exciting and magnificent legend!

The destitute young miss of the Ling family was weak, had lowly qualifications, was ugly and frequently bullied. In the end, she was pushed into the freezing river by her so-called love rival. However, when she opened her eyes once again, her gaze was cold yet captivating! Everything had changed drastically! When her ugly looks faded, she became a peerless beauty. When she displayed her graceful bearing and talent, it was blinding and earth-shattering!