Absolutely Do Not Touch Eldmia Egga - Chapter 653

Alex, a socially awkward guy with a mundane life, dies in the most ridiculous way imaginable — slipping on a banana peel while whacking off to an adult film. His embarrassing demise leads to an even stranger fate: he wakes up reincarnated as Jonny Sins, a rising star in a parallel universe where adult film actors are legendary heroes wielding unique powers of charm, seduction, and stamina.But life as a hero-pornstar is more complicated than it looks. Jonny is guided by Lustina, a seductive, snarky AI system offering him power-ups and quests — all with a price. As he navigates the absurdity of this erotic world, Alex discovers deeper mysteries about the System bound to him. Why was he chosen? What is Lustina’s true purpose? And why does the fate of the erotic multiverse seem to rest on his… performance?Armed with special techniques, limitless stamina, and newfound confidence, Alex must embrace his new identity as the Legendary Hero of Many Professions — doctor, soldier, astronaut, teacher… and aggressive step-daddy — to rise through the ranks and confront the ultimate threat to pleasure and freedom.It’s going to be a wild ride.–––[Jonny I've got an audition for you, are you interested?]Jonny: what's that?[Do you wanna act in a porn fraction? The role is an amateur twick is available for now]Jonny: Do you really want me to act as an amateur twick?.[If you aren't ok playing the role of an amateur twick, there is another role available. The role of an aggressive step daddy]Jonny: I choose the step daddy! I always loved to be a stepdad. I was born to play this role.

Lin An's life underwent a drastic change.The basketball under his bed had turned into a bleeding head, which would hop next to his pillow and hum softly by his ear at midnight. The subway racing into the station had become a gigantic lizard, opening its gaping maw, waiting for him to line up and feed it.The world was not as simple as he had imagined. Behind the bustle of the city, the Witch Hunter Knights roamed in search of evil wizards to slay.The ordinary worker, Lin An, inadvertently became a member of the Antler Witch-Hunting Knight Order, shouldering the glorious mission to protect humanity.He must be careful, careful, and then even more careful.Careful not to reveal his true identity as a wizard.…“Why Hunt a Cowardly Innocent Wizard?!”

This is a time of great powers: The vast Persia, Sparta that was founded by force, Athens with its trade and business, Thebes the rising star, The ambitious Macedonia, The twin heroes of the Western Mediterranean, The rising Rome and so on.

This is an era of brilliant stars: Agesilaus II – the last king of Sparta, Epaminondas – the Rising General of Thebes, Philip II – the founder of Macedonian’s hegemon, Dionysius – the tyrant of Syracuse, Camillus – the Roman dictator and savior…

This is an era of contention among a hundred schools of thought: Plato – the great philosopher, Antisthenes – founder of cynicism, Pythagoras – school of number, Democritus – the encyclopedia scholar, Hippocrates – the father of western medicine, Aristophanes – the great dramatist…

What will the hero bring to the world when he comes to this age as a humble mercenary through rebirth?

When the unassuming Du Yunlong encounters Wang Zihan, the eldest daughter of an esteemed immortal family, what kind of tale will unfold between them? The first step into the world of cultivation, hastened by the opening of the initial mystical technique, finally sets Du Yunlong on the elusive path to immortality.From a cold, steel-hearted maiden to a gentle and kind mentor's wife, a lovestruck young girl, a faithful and flawless widow, a serene and virtuous nun, a fateful encounter with a sophisticated lady, and a devoted female sword cultivator—how will each of these remarkable women weave their stories with Du Yunlong?He seeks not to soar through the heavens on a sword, nor to conquer the three realms. To Du Yunlong, love is eternal, and his ultimate path is simply to cherish a lifetime with the one he loves.